Joke - Why The Easter Bunny Brings Eggs...

Why The Easter Bunny Brings Eggs


* It's a tax write-off.

* Who ever heard of Easter Bricks?

* Consider all of the varieties:
scrambled, over easy, hard boiled, etc.

* He gets a good deal from the local chickens.

* He has a secret plan to eliminate the human
race by cholesterol overdose.

* Pressures from the Egg Marketing Board.

* Because if he brought bottle rockets he
would be The Independence Bunny.

* Would you want to hunt for waffles?

* He thinks guys should get chicks at least once a year.

* Because the Energizer Rabbit got the good job.

Joke - Saving The Easter Bunny...

Saving the Easter Bunny

A man was blissfully driving along the highway when he saw The Easter Bunny
hopping down the middle of the road. The man swerved to avoid hitting him,
but unfortunately, the famous bunny jumped in front of his car, and was hit
anyway. His basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the
side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the bunny carrying the
basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty
and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road
and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit The Easter Bunny and killed him.
There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to
her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead bunny
and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the furry animal.

Miraculously, The Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped to his feet, picked up the
spilled eggs and candy, waved his paw at the two humans, and hopped down the
road. 50 yards away, The Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved, and hopped
down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and
waved again!

The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your
spray can? What did you spray on The Easter Bunny?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:
"Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

Fun and Funny Quotes for April Fool's Day...

April Fool's Day is only three days away! Don't get caught being
the fool! LOL I have a question for you all - is the font (and size) I
am using too small? I can easily change it. Let me know. I realize
it has been very hard to leave comments in this blog. I am so very
sorry about this. I've been trying to rectify this with no avail. I may
have to switch servers at some point, and I will, of course, let you
all know. If anyone would like to speak with me, you can email me at
InRainJoy@aol.com (it's in my sidebar). Thanks! I hope you enjoy
the quotes! Sending joy out to all... Val =)



Fun and Funny Quotes for April Fool's Day


"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what
we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."
- Mark Twain
(

"Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world
hath more fools in it than ever."
- Charles Lamb
(

"Mix a little foolishness with your prudence: It's good to be silly
at the right moment."
- Horace
(

"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with
April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Author Unknown
(

"Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back,
or a fool from any side."
- A Jewish Proverb
(

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design
something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity
of complete fools."
- Douglas Adams
(

"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy,
and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."
- Robert Frost
(

"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm."
- Colette
(

"When in doubt, make a fool of yourself."
- Cynthia Heimel
(

"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me."
- Robert Frost, Cluster of Faith

Productivity Quotes and a Verse...

Productivity Quotes and a Verse

"Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to gooodness,
knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control,
perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness,
brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you
possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you
from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our
Lord Jesus Christ."
- 2 Peter 1:5-8

<><

"Action may not always bring happiness,
but there is no happiness without action."
- Benjamin Disraeli
g

"Many a false step was made by standing still."
- found in a fortune cookie
g

"There is no difference between a pessimist who says,
'Oh, it’s hopeless. So don’t bother doing anything.' and an
optimist who says, “Don’t bother doing anything. It’s going
to turn out fine anyway.' Either way, nothing happens."
- Yvon Choinard
g

"Named must your fear be before banish it you can."
- Yoda, from Star Wars: the Empire Strikes Back
g

"I can’t give you a surefire formula for success,
but I can give you a formula for failure:
try to please everybody all the time."
- Herbert Bayard Swope
g

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers
from a lack of imagination."
- Oscar Wilde
g

"Everything popular is wrong."
- Oscar Wilde
g

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles,
but most of them never happened."
- Mark Twain
g

“'Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the cat.
'I don’t much care where...,' said Alice.
'Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,' said the cat."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

funny cartoon...

I'm off to help my Daddeeoo this morning in just a few minutes, so I only
have one small cartoon for you this morning. Take care of yourself and one
another and don't forget to laugh and go a little slower than usual, if you
can. Sending love and joy... Val =)

Motivational Quotes...

Motivational Quotes


"First we make our attitudes. Then our attitudes make us."
- Dennis Waitley
c

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't...
you're right."
- Henry Ford
c

"When you have a choice and don't make it,
that is in itself a choice."
- William James
c

"Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly -
until you learn to do it well."
- Steve Brown
c

"Life begins when you do."
- Hugh Downs
c

"Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator."
- Robert Orben
c

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
- Theodore Roosevelt
c

"It's in the struggle itself that you define yourself."
- Pat Buchanan
c

"Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice."
- Henry Ford
c

"Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy
to go faster and further when the wheels are in perfect alignment,
you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals,
and values are in balance."
- Brian Tracy
c

"You can't be a smart cookie if you have a crummy attitude."
- John Maxwell

A Funny - Spring Classes for Women...

This is not the same joke as yesterday. It is revenge for the men =).



Spring Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Tuesday, March 30, 2010

NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents,
class sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

Class 1
Up In Winter, Down In Summer - How To
Adjust A Thermostat
Step by step, with slide presentation
Meets 4 weeks, 2 hours, Monday and Wednesday, 7:00 PM

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting The Toilet Seat Down
Or Bitching About It For 3 Hours?
Round table discussion
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday, 2 hours, 12:00 PM

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past A
Wal-Mart Without Stopping?
Group debate
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday, 2 hours, 10:00 PM

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between A
Purse and a Suitcase
Pictures and explanatory graphics
Meets 3 weeks, Saturday, 2:00 PM

Class 5
Curling Irons - Can They Levitate And
And Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on video
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday, 2 hours, 7:00 PM

Class 6
How To Ask Questions During Commercials
And Be Quiet During The Program
Help-Line support and support groups
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday, 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can A Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds
Of Soaps And Shampoos?
Open forum
Monday, 2 hours, 8:00 PM

Class 8
Health Watch -
They Make Medicine For
PMS - USE IT!
Group debate and live testimonials
Three nights - Monday, Wednesday, Friday,
two hours, 7:00 PM

Class 9
I Was Wrong And He Was Right!
Real life testimonials
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined

Class 10
How To Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes
Without An Insurance Claim
Driving simulations
4 weeks, Saturday, 2 hours, 12:00 PM

Class 11
Learning To Live -
How To Apply Brakes Without Throwing
Passengers Through the Windshield
Tuesday, 7:00 PM
Location to be determined

Class 12
How To Shop By Yourself
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday,
two hours, 7:00 PM

Class 13
How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy -
Remembering To Take A List To The Store And
Avoiding Separate Trips For Each Item Needed
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered
Monday, Wednesday, Friday, two hours, 7:00 PM

Class 14
The Stove/Oven - What It Is And How It Is Used
Live demonstration
Tuesday, 6:00 PM
Location to be determined

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

A Funny - Spring Classes for Men...

Spring Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Tuesday, March 30, 2010

NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents,
class sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
Step by step, with slide presentation
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday, 2 hours, 7:00 PM

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll
Does It Change Itself?
Round table discussion
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The
Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group practice
Meets 4 weeks, 2 hours, Saturday 10:00 PM

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper
And The Floor
Pictures and explanatory graphics
Meets 3 weeks, Saturday at 2:00 PM

Class 5
Dinner Dishes -
Can They Levitate And Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on video
Meets 4 weeks, 2 hours, Tuesday and Thursday, 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity
Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other
Help-Line support and support groups
Meets 4 weeks, Friday and Sunday, 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things
Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not
Turning The House Upside-Down While Screaming
Open forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours

Class 8
Health Watch
Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and audio tapes
3 nights, Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real life testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly
While She Parallel Parks?
Driving simulations
Meets 4 weeks, 2 hours, Saturday's 12:00 PM

Class 11
Learning To Live
Basic Differences Between Mother And Wife
Online classes and role-playing
Tuesdays, 7:00 PM
Location to be determined

Class 12
How To Be The Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
Meets 4 weeks, 2 hours, Tuesday and Thursday, begins at 7:00 PM

Class 13
How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy
Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries And Other Important Dates
And Calling When You're Going To Be Late
Cerebral Shock Therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered
3 nights - Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 2 hours at 7:00 PM

Class 14
The Stove/Oven
What It Is And How It Is Used
Live demonstration
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined


Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Joke - A Blonde Buys a TV

A Blonde Buys a TV

A blonde went to her local electrical store to buy a TV. She chose one and
brought it to the salesman.

"I would like to buy this small TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

So the blonde hurried home, put her hair up in a bun, put on a hat, and returned
to repeat to the salesman, " I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the salesman replied for a second time.

"Darn!" the lady exploded, "He recognized me!"

She went for a complete disguise this time - a haircut, new hair color, different
clothes, and she waited a few days until she re-entered the electrical store to
try again.

"I would like to buy this TV," she exclaimed

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the salesman replied.

Angry and frustrated, the lady shouted, "How do you know I'm a blonde?!!"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

Fun and Funny Quotes About Women...

Fun and Funny Quotes About Women


"If women didn't exist,
all the money in the world would have no meaning."
- Aristotle
=)

"I hate women because they always know where things are."
- James Thurber
=)

"The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can
always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised."
- Freya Stark
=)

"A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right,
whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking."
- Malcolm de Chazal
=)

"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines.
They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the
general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy
over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'"
- Elayne Boosler
=)

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country."
- Elayne Boosler
=)

"To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love
him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all."
- Helen Rowland
=)

"There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works."
- Will Rogers
=)

"Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half,
double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years
to the age of their best friend."
- Marcel Achard
=)

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."
- Gloria Steinem

Spring Quotes and a Verse...

Spring Quotes and a Verse

"See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves is heard in our land."
- Song of Solomon 2:11-12

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"The first day of Spring is one thing, and the first
Spring day is another. The difference between them
is sometimes as great as a month."
- Henry Van Dyke

"Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise!"
- Wallace Stevens


"In the Spring I have counted one hundred and thirty-six
different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours."
- Mark Twain


"The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day
He created Spring."
- Bern Williams


"Where flowers bloom, so does hope."
- Lady Bird Johnson


"Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful;
they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul."
- Luther Burbank


"Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems."
- Rainer Maria Rilke


"First a howling blizzard woke us,
Then the rain came down to soak us,
And now before the eye can focus -
Crocus."
- Lilja Rogers


"In the Spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."
- Margaret Atwood


"Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'"
- Robin Williams

funny video, welcome Spring!...

I remember this song by Ray Stevens from childhood. I was never able to
understand it. This video explains it quite well. You may have to watch
it two or three times. I hope you get some big giggles from viewing this
like I did. Do you remember this song?

Happy first day of Spring, everyone!

Click link below to view.

I'm My Own Grandpa by Ray Stevens



* thanks for sending me this, Krissy!

Kahlil Gibran Quotes...

Kahlil Gibran Quotes


"Love is trembling happiness."
(

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until
the hour of separation."
(

"Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit."
(

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
(

"Sadness is but a wall between two gardens."
(

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror."
(

"Faith is knowledge within the heart,
beyond the reach of proof."
(

"Trust in dreams,
for in them is hidden the gate to eternity."
(

"Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep,
too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself."
(

"Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death."
(

"Your friend is your needs answered."
(

"Paradise is there, behind that door, in the next room,
but I have lost the key. Perhaps I have only mislaid it."

Joke - Room Service, Tenjewberrymuds

Room Service - Tenjewberrymuds

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room service at
a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.

To get the full effect it should be read aloud. You will understand what
'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.



Room Service (RmSv): Morrin. Roon sirbees.

Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

RmSv: Rye... Roon sirbees... morrin!
Jewish to oddor sunteen?

Guest: Uh... yes... I'd like some bacon and eggs.

RmSv: Ow July den?

Guest: What??

RmSv: Ow July den?... pryed, boyud, poochd?

Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them?
Sorry, scrambled please.

RmSv: Ow July dee baykem? Crease?

Guest: Crisp will be fine.

RmSv: Hokay. An Sahn toes?

Guest: What?

RmSv: An toes. July Sahn toes?

Guest: I don't think so.

RmSv: No? Judo wan sahn toes??

Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know
what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.

RmSv: Toes! toes!... Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow
Anglish moppin we bodder?

Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast'.
Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RmSv: We bodder?

Guest: No... just put the bodder on the side.

RmSv: Wad?

Guest: I mean butter... just put it on the side.

RmSv: Copy?

Guest: Excuse me?

RmSv: Copy... tea... meel?

Guest: Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all.

RmSv: One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem,
Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy... rye?

Guest: Whatever you say.

RmSv: Tenjewberrymuds.

Guest: You're very welcome.

Joke - Three Irishmen in Heaven...

Three Irishmen in Heaven


It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time.

Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by Saint Patrick himself.
The saint said to the boys, "Lads, I'm here to welcome you to Heaven where
you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these
gates, don't step on any of the ducks or you'll be punished for eternity."

Sean went in first and was amazed to see that the entire landscape was
encompassed by ducks, and try as he might, he stepped on one.

He was immediately joined by one of the homeliest colleens he'd ever laid
eyes on, and she said, "Well love, you stepped on a duck and now we're
together for all time."

The exact same thing happened to Michael, only his companion was even
worse for wear. By this time Tim was absolutely terrified. He gingerly
managed to make it most of the way across the court without stepping on
a single duck. Suddenly, his arm was taken by a young lass. Tim looked over
and beheld the most beautiful, graceful, blue-eyed woman he'd ever seen in
all his life. He gasped, "I don't understand it!?!"

The young beauty answered, "Well I'm sure I don't either. I was walking
along minding my own business, when suddenly I stepped on a duck."

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

St. Patrick's Day Jokes...

How Old Is He?

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean, and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late
at night, and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

"Come have a look over here," says Paddy. "It's Michael O'Grady's grave.
God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing," says Sean. "Here's one named Patrick O'Toole. It says here
that he was 95 when he died!"

Just then, Seamus yells out, "Here's a fella that got to be 145!"

"What was his name?" asks Paddy.

Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is
written on the stone marker and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

* * *

Irish Job Application

Murphy applied for a fermentation operator post at a famous Irish firm based in
Dublin. An American applied for the same job, and since both applicants had
similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the manager. When the
results were in, amazingly, both men had only one wrong answer.

The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview,
but we've decided to give the American the job."

Murphy replied, "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions
correct. This is Ireland and I am Irish. Surely I should get the job?"

The manager explained, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers,
but on the question you missed."

"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" asked Murphy.

The manager answered, "Simple. On question number 7 the American wrote down,
'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'"

Fun and Funny Sleep Quotes...

In honor of Daylight Saving Time, I have fun and funny sleep quotes
by famous people today. These can be found at Reader's Digest online.
I hope everyone is catching up on their lost hour of sleep. Val =)




Fun and Funny Sleep Quotes


"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one."
- Leo J. Burke
g

"Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world.
But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are
born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you."
- Ray Romano
g

"Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in."
- Evan Davis
g

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone."
- Anthony Burgess
g

"Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I
woke up the pillow was gone."
- Tommy Cooper
g

"Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep."
- Albert Camus
g

"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations.
When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."
- George Carlin
g

"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf
won't get much sleep."
- Woody Allen
g

"I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at
four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today."
- George Foreman
g

"I feel sorry for people who do not drink. When they wake up in the
morning it is as good as they are going to feel all day."
- Frank Sinatra
g

"The early bird gets the worm. The early worm... gets eaten."
- Norman R. Augustine
g

Life Quotes and a Verse...

Life Quotes and a Verse


"Delight yourself in The Lord and He will give you
the desires of your heart."
- Psalms 37:4
<><

“Because life is a living, breathing, work of art, you are
a painting as you go. Be a masterpiece. Drink in life.
Laugh too loud. Compliment others constantly.”
- Nicole Johnson
c

"Life is a great big canvas and you should throw all
the paint on it you can."
- Danny Kaye
c

"My life is like a piano, white keys are happy moments
and black keys are sad moments. But remember both keys
are played together to give sweet music of life... "
- Author Unknown
c

"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea
that life is serious."
- Brendan Gill
c

"My life is my message."
- Mahatma Gandhi
c

"Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again.
Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the
shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
c

"Life is like a blanket too short. You pull it up and your toes rebel.
You yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder.
But cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass
a very comfortable night."
- Marion Howard
c

"Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me,
I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled
a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved."
- Author Unknown
c

"The soul is born old, but grows young.
That is the comedy of life."
- Oscar Wilde
c

"Life is half spent before one knows what life is."
- A French Proverb

Sunshine Award, Seven Things About Me...

I wanted to thank Sally Lee from Sally Lee by the Sea for bestowing me
with The Sunshine Award! I did a Google search of this award to find its
origin and could not. I haven't given up, though! LOL

The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity
inspire others in the blog world. The "rules" have changed a little through
time. I am choosing these rules. LOL

1. Put the logo on your blog or within your post.
2. Pass the award to 7 bloggers.
3. Link the nominees within your post.
4. Let them know they received this award by commenting in their blog.
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.
6. Share 7 things about yourself.

Thanks again, Sally Lee!!!

I am passing on the award to these seven special bloggers:


1. Missie of What Comes Next?
2. Rose of Roses are Read
3. DB of Vagabond Journeys
4. Penny from Growin' Old Gracelessly
5. Pam from Almost 40!
6. Krissy of Sometimes I Think
7. Linda from Not Just Roses

Congratulations! Please take your award and bestow it on seven others if
you would like.

Now for the final requirement. Here are seven things about me you may not know:

1. I can say the alphabet backwards and as one word forward (It's Big Bird's
favorite word, you know).
2. If I had to define myself in 3 words or concepts, it would be a fighter,
a spreader of joy, and a thinker or lover of knowledge (a philosopher).
3. I can wiggle my eyeballs.
4. I have two children and two grandsons and a grandson on the way. He is due in June.
5. I love colors! If I were a color I would be red.
6. I use to played the violin and guitar when I was young. I am trying to re-learn the guitar.
7. I have had brain surgery twice. One surgery left me bald. I loved being bald. It felt free.

Please visit the seven bloggers I chose when you have a spare moment.
It will be worth the visit. Oh, one more thing... Happy Birthday to my
very special sister Krissy!! Happy Birthday!!! Love you, honey!!!!

St. Patrick's Day Quotes...

Quotes for St. Patrick's Day


"The list of Irish saints is past counting; but in it all
no other figure is so human, friendly, and lovable as
St. Patrick, who was an Irishman only by adoption."
- Stephen Gwynn
n

"He was a terror to any snake that came in his path,
whether it was the cold, slimy reptile sliding along the ground,
or the more dangerous snake that oppresses men through false
teachings. And he drove the snakes out of the minds of men,
snakes of superstition and brutality and cruelty."
- Arthur Brisbane
n

"St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time -
a day to begin transforming winter's dreams
into summer's magic."
- Adrienne Cook
n

"May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
- An Irish Blessing
n

"When anyone asks me about the Irish character,
I say look at the trees, maimed, stark and misshapen,
but ferociously tenacious."
- Edna O'Brien
n

"When Irish eyes are smiling, 'Tis like a morn in spring.
In the lilt of Irish laughter, You can hear the angels sing."
- Chauncey Olcott and George Graff, Jr.
n

"This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis
is of no use whatsoever."
- Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)
n

"Saint Patrick was a gentleman
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland
Here's a drinkee to his health!
But not too many drinkees
Lest we lose ourselves and then...
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see them snakes again!"
- Author Unknown
n

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the
best cures in the doctor's book."
- An Irish Proverb
n

"May the strength of God pilot us.
May the wisdom of God instruct us.
May the hand of God protect us.
May the Word of God direct us.
Be always ours this day and forevermore."
- St. Patrick

Happy Birthday, Chels!!!! I love you!!!

St. Patrick's Day Puns...

St. Patrick's Day Riddles and Puns


What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
Paddy O'Furniture.

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A sham rock.

When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
When it's a French fry!

What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A poor horse is going barefoot!

Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers
instead of his red ones?
The red ones were in the wash.

Why is a river rich?
Because it has two banks.

What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A Jolly Green Giant.

What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
He gets wet.

What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?
A leper con.

What is a nuahcerpel?
A leprechaun spelled backwards!


Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Irish!
Irish you a Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

St. Patrick's Day Jokes...

An Irish Bank Robber

It's Saint Patrick's Day and an armed, hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland
and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot,
one brave, Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.

The robber shoots the guy without hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers
is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him also.

Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.

"Did anyone else see my face?!" screams the robber.

There is a few moments of silence then one elderly Irish gent, looking down, tentatively
raises his hand and says, "I think me wife may have caught a glimpse.

c g c

Potato Garden

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't
know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it,
and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden! That's where I
buried the GUNS!!!!!"

At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden,
but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and
asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was, "Just plant your potatoes."

Jokes for St. Patrick's Day...

O'Shaughnessy Needs Time Off

Soon after O'Shaughnessy clocked in for work, the foreman called him
over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office.

When O'Shaughnessy returned, he had a mournful expression on his face
and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if it was bad news.

"To be sure it was, boss." he replied. "I just found out from Ireland that
my mother died earlier this morning."

"Gosh, that's awful." replied the foreman. "Do you want the rest of the
day off?"

"No," replied O'Shaughnessy, "I'll finish the day out."

About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was
another phone call for him in the office. This time when O'Shaughnessy
returned he looked twice as glum, and the foreman asked if everything
was alright.

"Boss, it's even worse news. That was my brother, and his mother died
today, too!"


g g g


Sinkin' Barty

Barty was trapped in a bog, and seemed a goner, when Big Mick O'Reilly
wandered by.

"Help!" Barty shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!"

"Don't worry." assured Mick. "Next to The Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the
strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."

Mick leaned out and grabbed Barty's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail.

After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Barty, "Shure, an' Oi
can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to
get some help."

As Mick was leaving, Barty called "Mick! Mick!...

D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"

Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes


"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you
wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail."
- Fran Lebowitz

)

"I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny
to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener.
I guess I'll have to kill a deer.'"
- David Sedaris
)

"I think everyone should get married at least once,
so you can see what a silly, outdated institution it is."
- Madonna
)

"Before I got married I had six theories about
bringing up children; now I have six children and
no theories."
- John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester
)

"I'm so ugly, my father carries around a picture
of the kid who came with his wallet."
- Rodney Dangerfield
)

"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for
lawn care and vehicle maintenance."
- Tim Allen
)

"Women speak because they wish to speak,
whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech
by something outside himself, like, for instance,
he can't find any clean socks."
- Jean Kerr
)

"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets the more interested he is in her."
- Agatha Christie
)

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.
I want to achieve it through not dying."
- Woody Allen
)

"I do not believe in the afterlife,
although I am bringing a change of underwear."
- Woody Allen

Friendship Quotes and Verses...

Friendship Quotes and Verses


"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,
just as in fact you are doing.
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11
<><

"A friend loves at all times... "
- Proverbs 17:17
<><

"The better part of one's life consists of his friendships."
- Abraham Lincoln
=

“What greater thing is there for human souls than to
feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other
in silent unspeakable memories.”
- George Eliot
=

“Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is
the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a
young man about a place to live, I think I should say, 'Sacrifice
almost everything to live where you can be near your friends.'
I know I am very fortunate in that respect.”
- C. S. Lewis
=

"A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
=

"I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because,
of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater
or better than friendship."
- Pietro Aretino
=

"The most beautiful discovery true friends can make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart."
- Elisabeth Foley
=

"Women give nothing to friendship except what
they borrow from love."
- Seneca
=

"Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough.
Not only have I found that, when I talk to the little flower
or to the little peanut, they will give up their secrets, but
I have found that when I silently commune with people they
give up their secrets also - if you love them enough."
- George Washington
=

"Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense,
and have her nonsense respected."
- Charles Lamb

All about cats...

I have two cats in my home, Honey and Baby Boo. Honey is as sweet
and docile as can be. Boo is a mean bruiser. They are both rescued cats.
They have never warmed up to each other after five years. Honey is
almost 11 and Boo is five. They live at opposite sides of my home and
only meet for feedings and when they are wanting some attention or
loving. Fights very often ensue. Meet my two hearts...

I have 15 cat facts that you may not know. Most were knew to me.
I found this at The Cat's Meow. Do you have a pet? I would love to
hear all about your furry friend in my comments section!


15 Cat Facts

1. Cats lose almost as much fluid in the saliva while grooming
themselves as they do through urination.
2. Charles A. Lindbergh left his kitten, Patsy, at home in 1927 when he
made his famous transatlantic flight because it was “too dangerous
a journey” to risk her life. But a kitten named Jazz crossed the
Atlantic on the first dirigible flight from England to America.
3. Bouhaki, the earliest cat name on record, dates back to Egyptian
writings of 2000 B.C. In the hieroglyphs of that period,
bou signified “house” and “hak” was the symbol for “divine ruler.”
4. In ancient Egypt, entire families were forced by law to shave their
eyebrows as a sign of mourning when the family cat died.
5. There are approximately 60,000 hairs per square inch on the back of
a cat and about 120,000 per square inch on its underside.
6. The largest litter ever documented was produced by a
Burmese/Siamese mother. There were 19 kittens in
the litter.
7. Besides smelling with their noses, cats can smell with an
additional organ called the vomeronasal organ (or
Jacobson’s organ), located in the upper surface
of the mouth
8. Sir Isaac Newton is credited with the invention of the
cat flap-door.
9. Cat’s ears can be rotated because they are connected
to thirty (30) muscles. There are only six (6) muscles
connecting human ears – we can’t rotate ours.
10. The first modern cat show, featuring two dozen show classes,
was held in London in 1871.
11. At top speed, a domestic cat can run over 30 mph.
12. A cat named Towser eliminated 28,899 mice while she was
employed by the Glenturret Distillery near Crieff,
Tayside, Scotland.
13. Every cat’s nose pad, or nose leather, has unique characteristics.
Just as no two humans have the same fingerprints,
it’s a fact that no two feline noseprints are ever alike.
14. Both humans and cats have identical regions in the brain
responsible for emotion.
15. Back in the late 1940s in Buenos Aires, a black female cat
climbed a 40 foot tree where she resided for six years.
Her name was Mincha and she wasn’t lonely for
companionship. She had three litters while living in the tree.
The local Argentineans fed her by putting her food on poles.

Abraham Lincoln Quotes...

Abraham Lincoln Quotes


"It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of
himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him."
,

"Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow.
The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing."
,

"When I do good, I feel good; When do bad, I feel bad,
and that is my religion."
,

"If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it,
you surely will."
,

"When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and
what I am going to say and two-thirds about him
and what he is going to say."
,

"Things come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle."
,

"I walk slowly, but I never walk backward."
,

"If I had eight hours to chop down a tree,
I'd spend six hours sharpening my ax."
,

"Most folks are about as happy as they make
up their minds to be."
,

"I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends."
,

"A woman is the only thing I am afraid of
that I know will not hurt me."

Joke - Irish Sausages...

Irish Sausages, Please?

"Can I have some Irish sausages, please?" asked Seamus. "I want to make a
proper Irish hot dog."

The shop assistant looked at him and enquired, "Are you Irish?"

"If I asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I
asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked
you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I asked you
for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would you, eh? Would you?"

"And if I asked you for some Bourbon whiskey, would you ask me if I was
American? What about Danish bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"

"Well, I probably wouldn't," came the response.

Self-righteously, Seamus demanded, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me
if I'm Irish, just because I asked for Irish Sausages?!"

"Because you're in a blooming shoe shop," replied the assistant.

St. Patrick's Day Jokes...

No Hiding Place

Walking into the bar, Shamus said to O'Heir the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one.
I just had another fight with the little woman."

"O, bejabbers," said O'Heir, "and how did this one end?"

"Hah, when it was over," Shamus replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."

"Really?!" cried O'Heir, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, Shamus, you little chicken."

1 1 1

Old Flame?

An elderly couple were driving through County Kerry, Ireland. Irene was driving
when she got pulled over by the Gardai, who asks her, "Ma'am did you know that
you were speeding?"

Irene turns to her husband, Mick, and enquires, "What did he say?"

Mick yells out, "He says you were speeding!"

The Garda said, "May I see your license, please, ma'am?"

Irene, once again, turns to Mick and says, "What did he say?"

Once more, Mick, shouts out, "He wants to see your license!"

Irene gives the policeman her driving license.

The Garda retorts, "I see you are from Kerry. I spent some time there once and
had the worst date of my life."

For the final time, Irene turns to Mick and asks, "What did he say?"

Mick yells very loudly, "He thinks he knows you!"

St. Patrick's Day Joke - Irish Calculating...

Irish Calculating?

Murphy and O'Brien go out into the woods where they come to a clearing and see an
abandoned well.

"I wonder how deep this well is?" Murphy asks.

O'Brien answers, "There's one way we could figure it out."

"What's that?" asks Murphy.

O'Brien explains, "We drop something down it, we time how long it takes to hit the bottom,
we multiply that times 32 feet per second squared, the rate at which objects fall in a
vacuum, subtract a little for wind resistance, and we've got the depth of the well."

"What are you going to drop down it?" Murphy asks.

Then O'Brien looks all around and he sees this big, heavy log lying on the ground. Next he
squats down by the log and, using his legs correctly, he gets it up onto his shoulders and
staggers over to the edge of the well, tips it up, and drops it into the well. They start to
count, "One hippopotamus, two hippopotamus, three... "

SPLASH!!!!

"Three seconds!" yells Murphy.

O'Brien says, "Quick, multiply that, times 32 feet per second squared!"

"288 feet!" Murphy answers.

"Subtract a little for wind resistance, let's say 18 feet. The depth of that well is 270
feet deep."

As he is finishing the calculations, Murphy shouts, "LOOK OUT!!", and pushes O'Brien
backwards as a goat runs between them and jumps head first down the well.

"I've never seen anything like that!" Murphy exclaims.

Just then a farmer walks into the clearing and says, "What's going on here boys?"

O'Brien says, "We just figured out the depth of this well to be about 270 feet deep and
then the strangest thing happened. A goat ran between the two of us and jumped head
first down into the well."

"Thank heaven it wasn't one of my goats," the farmer says.

"How do you know it wasn't?" asks Murphy.

And the farmer says, "Because all of my goats are tethered to big, heavy logs."

A Video About Thinking Outside The Box...

I received this very short video in an email this morning. It is inspiring and
worth watching. Click on the link below to view. Have a nice day!! Val =)


Paper Airplane (or Thinking Outside the Box)

Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes


"There's only one good thing about snow,
it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's."
- Clyde Moore
=

"Mix in a little foolishness with your serious plans:
It's lovely to be silly at the right moment."
- Horace
=

"If people did not sometimes do silly things,
nothing intelligent would ever get done."
- Ludwig Wittgenstein
=

"I like vending machines because snacks are better when they fall.
If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that it
achieves its maximum flavor potential."
- Mitch Hedberg
=

"Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with
your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces."
- Judith Viorst
=

"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs."
- Mitch Hedberg
=

"I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right."
- Billy Crystal
=

"It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean."
- Mae West
=

"Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty."
- A Sicilian Proverb
=

"Psychoanalysis is for hysterical pathological cases,
not for silly, rich American women who should be learning
how to darn socks."
- Sigmund Freud