Friday, October 30, 2009

Grief Quotes...

Grief Quotes

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness,
but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love."
- Washington Irving

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."
- C. S. Lewis

"If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble."
- Moliere

"Those things that hurt, instruct."
- Benjamin Franklin

"Happiness is beneficial for the body,
but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind."
- Marcel Post

"If you’re going through hell, keep going."
- Winston Churchill

"There is no grief which time does not lessen and soften."
- Cicero

"Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can;
and common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys."
- Alphonse de Lamartine

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair and
confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement,
who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing...
that is a friend who cares."
- Henri Nouwen

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that
which has been your delight."
- Kahlil Gibran

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly,
acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still
know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
- Agatha Christie

"Every joy will follow in grief’s footsteps."
- A Malawian Proverb

"Have faith in your dreams, and someday,
your rainbow will come smiling through.
No matter how your heart is grieving,
if you keep on believing,
the dreams that you wish will come true"
- Emily Bronte

- dedicated to J and K, my rocks, who never stop
smiling through their years pain.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Two Halloween Jokes...

Costume Shopping

Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, and Arnold Schwarzenegger all decide to
go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume
store and look for masks.

Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven."

Steven Seagal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart."

Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one
that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

* * * * *
Beethoven Symphonies

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard when, suddenly, he hears some music.
No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the
origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van
Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it
is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend
to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the
Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played in reverse.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert,
the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the
symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed - the
9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread, and a throng has gathered around the grave.
They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd
asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about," says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Halloween Funny - Some Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters...

Some Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters

Give away something other than candy (e.g. toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.).
Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "TOP SECRET" in big letters. When trick-
or-treaters come, look around suspiciously and say, "It's about time you got here." Give them
the briefcase and quickly shut the door.
Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door say,
"Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
Get everyone who knocks on the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong
with your dishwasher.
After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.
Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment and pretend
to be confused. Start flipping through a calendar.
Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only
thing you had left over from Easter.
Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all the
trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Halloween Jokes...

Halloween Vamps

Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take
their orders.

"And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?"

The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood."

The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood."

The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, "I'll have a glass
of plasma."

The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender,
"Two bloods and a blood light."

* * * * * *

Bat story

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked
himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where
he got it. He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted
until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me," he said, and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"

Monday, October 26, 2009

Fun and Funny Halloween Quotes...

Fun and Funny Halloween Quotes

"Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said,
'Never take candy from strangers.' And then they dressed
me up and said, 'Go beg for it.' I didn’t know what to do!
I’d knock on people’s doors and go, 'Trick or treat.'
'No thank you.'"
- Rita Rudner

"I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume?
That's what they think of me?'"
- Drew Carey

"Eat, drink, and be scary."
- Author Unknown

"Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into
the 'spirits' of things."
- Dee Snider

"A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you
are on Halloween."
- Erma Bombeck

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself
than be crowded on a velvet cushion."
- Henry David Thoreau

"Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to."
- Richard Harris Barham

"Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate!"
- Sandra J. Dykes

"Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with.
C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his
own Halloween special."
- Chris Rock

"There are three things I have learned never to discuss with
people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin."
- Linus Van Pelt, 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown'

"Hold on, man. We don't go anywhere with 'scary', 'spooky',
'haunted', or 'forbidden' in the title."
- Matthew Lillard as Shaggy in 'Scooby-Doo'

"As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today... Oh, how I wish he'd go away."
- Anonymous

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Inspirational Quotes and a Verse...

Inspirational Quotes and a Verse

"You thrill me Lord, with all You have done for me!
I sing for joy because of what You have done."
- Psalm 92:4

"Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source
of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power."
- Stephen Covey "The truest greatness lies in being kind,
the truest wisdom in a happy mind."
- Ella Wheller Wilcox "A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances,
but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."
- Hugh Downs "First we make our attitudes. Then our attitudes make us."
- Dennis Waitley "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being
can alter his life by altering his attitudes."
- William James "Six essential qualities that are the key to success:
sincerity, personal integrity, humility, courtesy, wisdom, charity."
- William Menninger
"You can not raise a man up by calling him down."
- William Boetcker
"Remember there is no such thing as a small act of kindness.
Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."
- Scott Adams
"Kindness is more important than wisdom,
and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom."
- Theodore Rubin
"Patience is the companion of wisdom."
- Theodore Rubin
"You can preach a better sermon with your life
than with your lips."
- Oliver Goldsmith
"No legacy is so rich as honesty."
- William Shakespeare "Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure
there is one rascal less in the world."
- Thomas Carlyle

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Two Halloween jokes...

Stranger At The Window

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started
it up.

After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and
tapped lightly.

The passenger screamed, "Look at he window. There's an old ghost's face there!"

The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window.

The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said,
"What do you want?"

The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"

The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to the
driver, rolling up the window in terror.

A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again.

The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the speedometer
says we're doing 80 now."

All of the sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man

"There he is again," the passenger yelled.

He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"

"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.

The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"

They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen
and heard, when, suddenly, there came some more tapping.

"Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in
stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"

The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"


Pumpkin Deterrent

Mrs. Jones was proud of her pumpkin patch, so she was very disappointed when some
of the local kids were taking them to make jack-o-lanterns.

One evening while Mrs. Jones was soaking in the bath, the answer to the pumpkin
thefts came to her. After supper she went out and put up a sign: "Beware, one of
these pumpkins is coated with a special, colorless rat poison!"

A day later. when Mrs Jones checked out her pumpkin patch, she was pleased to see
that no more had been stolen. Then she saw a second sign next to hers which said:

Friday, October 23, 2009

Halloween Quotes...

Quotes for Halloween

"Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much
sweetness as one can possibly want and hold."
- Judith Olney

"I think a lot more people are getting into Halloween because it's
the one time of year where adults can be kids."
- Craig McDonald

"On Halloween, witches come true. Wild ghosts escape from dreams.
Each monster dances in the park... "
- Nicholas Gordon

"On Hallowe'en the thing you must do
Is pretend that nothing can frighten you.
And if somethin' scares you and you want to run,
Just let on like it's Hallowe'en fun."
- Author Unknown
= o

"Nothing on earth is so beautiful as the final
haul on Halloween night."
- Steve Almond

" ...Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too.
They live inside of us, and sometimes they win."
- Stephen King

"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he
never shows to anybody."
- Mark Twain

"Eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog,
adder's fork and blind-worm's sting, lizards's leg and owlet's wing,
for a charm of powerful trouble, like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
- William Shakespeare

"When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
may luck be yours on Halloween."
- Author Unknown

"From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things
that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!"
- A Scottish Saying

"Backward, turn backward,
O Time, in your flight,
make me a child again
just for to-night!"
- Elizabeth Akers Allen

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Halloween Jokes...


The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was
helping transport many of the items.

I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my
seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town.

At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious,
and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I
think it's too late!"


Skeleton in the Closet

A very large, old building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new
skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had
to be dismantled floor-by-floor.

While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a
small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police.

When the police arrived, the workers directed them to the closet, and showed them
the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright.

The policemen said, "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important," and
left telling the workers they would contact them when they found out any word on the

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any more; they had
to know who they had found. They called the police and said, "We are the two guys
who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it is Jimmy Hoffa or
somebody important."

The police said, "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it is somebody kind of important."

"Well, who is it?"

"The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and-Seek Champion."

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Halloween Joke - Fixing The Headstone...

Fixing The Headstone

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a
shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery
they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they saw an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away
at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half
to death - we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Halloween Puns...

Halloween Puns

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin' Goblin

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call a roomful of ghosts?
A bunch of boo-boos

Did you hear about the cannibal who was
expelled from school?
He was buttering up his teacher

Have you seen Quasimodo?
I have a hunch he's back!

How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
"I'm bone to be wild."

What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
"I'd like a beer and a mop!"

What do birds give out on Halloween night?

What do you call dead cows that come back to life?

What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and deady

What do you call a monster with no neck?
The Lost Neck Monster

What do you do with a green monster?
Wait until it ripens

What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships

What goes "Ha-ha-ha... THUD!"
A monster laughing his head off

Monday, October 19, 2009

Funny Jerry Seinfeld Quotes...

Funny Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

"I wonder if illiterate people get the full affect of alphabet soup."

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world
every day just exactly fits in the newspaper."

"I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man,
why is she marrying him?"

"Now, they show you how detergents take out bloodstains,
a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a
bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."

"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."

"I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it.
Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up
to the camera, 'Well, here it is. You can't have any.
Thanks for watching. Goodbye.'"

"You can measure distance by time. 'How far away is it?'
'Oh about 20 minutes.' But it doesn't work the other way.
'When do you get off work?' 'Around 3 miles.'"

"A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear
is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher
than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that
at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin
than have to stand up and give a eulogy."

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that
people are still thinking."

"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family."

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a
war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little
Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there.
Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me,
the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off.
I've got the toe clippers right here.'"

"Why do people give each other flowers?
To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing
living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart,
let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel.'"

"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake.
It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Inspirational Life Quotes and a Verse...

Inspirational Life Quotes and a Verse

(Part 5)

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a
new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"
- 2 Corinthians 5:17

"Fashion your life as a garland of good deeds."
- Buddha

"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right
thing to do. The hard part is doing it."
- H. Norman Schwarzkopf

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you,
they're supposed to help you discover who you are."
- Bernice Johnson Reagon

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human
being can alter his life by altering his attitudes."
- William James

"They always say time changes things,
but you actually have to change them yourself."
- Andy Warhol

"The good life is a process, not a state of being.
It is a direction, not a destination."
- Carl Rogers

"Slow down and enjoy life. It's now only the scenery
you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of
where you are going and why."
- Eddie Cantor

"We cannot see our reflection in running water.
It is only in still water that we can see."
- A Taoist Proverb

"When we remember that we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
- Mark Twain

"The end of life is to be like God,
and the soul following God will be like Him."
- Socrates

"May you live all the days of your life."
- Jonathon Swift

Friday, October 16, 2009

Dream Quotes...

Dream Quotes

"Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul
is writing about you."
- Marsha Norman
"Dreams are today's answers for tomorrow's questions."
- Edgar Cayce
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which
escape those who dream only by night."
- Author Unknown
"Some men see things as they are and say, 'Why?'...
I dream of things that never were and say, 'Why not?'"
- George Bernard Shaw
"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged
bird that cannot fly."
- Langston Hughes
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."
- James Dean
"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."
- Erma Bombeck
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his
punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world."
- Oscar Wilde
“For my part I know nothing with any certainty,
but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”
- Vincent van Gogh
"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow
bigger than your faith."
- Mary Manin Morrissey
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty
of their dreams."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"All that you see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."
- Edgar Allen Poe

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Joke - An Old Man's Dying Request...

An Old Man's Dying Request

An elderly man visited his doctor and found that he didn't have very long to live.
So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his
fate - his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer.

He explained, "Well, today I found out I don't have long to live. So I have
summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life,
and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with
$50,000 inside. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into
my grave."

They all agreed.

After the man passed on, the three men happened to run into each other.

The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 of his money. He owed lots
of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested."

The priest said, "I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 for the church. It's all
going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in the grave."

The lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing and exclaimed, "I am
surprised at you two taking advantage of him like that!! I wrote a check for
the full amount and threw it all in!!"

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

More of You Might Be a Redneck If...

More of You Might Be a Redneck If...

* Your wife can't fix you dinner because she has cheerleading practice.
* Slamming the door on your truck creates an instant sunroof.
* You paint your car with house paint.
* Stealing road signs is a family outing.
* Fancy eating-out involves drivin' to the next window.
* You have ever financed a tattoo.
* Your side-by-side refrigerator consist of two Igloo coolers.
* Your child's first pet was a chicken.
* You think God looks like Hank Williams, Jr.
* You have more guns than teeth.
* Your baby's first words were "Attention, KMart shoppers".
* You use your belt buckle as identification.
* Your belt buckle is bigger than your head.
* Your family tree doesn't fork.
* You've ever used your fishing license as a form of identification.
* You missed your graduation because your kids were sick.
* You refer to fifth grade as "my senior year".
* Somebody yells "Hoe down!" and your wife hits the floor.
* You mow your lawn and find three junk cars under the weeds.
* Your youngest kid calls you "Uncle Daddy".
* Your church cancels services when deer hunting season opens.
* You trace your family tree and find that somehow
you are your own grandpa.
* You own 5 cars, but only one of them runs.
* Your cousin buys a new house and you have to go help
take the wheels off of it.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Joke - Patience is a Virtue...

Patience is a Virtue

A gentleman was lonely and decided life would be more fun with a pet friend.

He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual
pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede that came in a little
white box. He took the box and pet back home and the centipede settled in.

That night the fellow decided to take his new pet to the bar to have a drink. He
bent over the box and asked the little furry creature, "Would you like to go to
Frank's with me and have a beer?"

There was no answer from his new pet. This worried him a bit, but he waited a
few minutes and asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink
with me?"

Again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few
more minutes while assessing the situation. He decided to ask him one more time,
while putting his face up against the centipede's house, and shouting, "Hey,
in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?!!"

A little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my
darn shoes on!"

Monday, October 12, 2009

Funny Erma Bombeck Quotes...

Funny Erma Bombeck Quotes

"Before you try to keep up with the Joneses,
be sure they're not trying to keep up with you."

"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply,
smell, catch on fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
No one cares. Why should you?"

"No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do,
because there's a wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked.
This is sick."

"Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in
the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, 'What light?' and two more to
say, 'I didn't turn it on.'"

"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it
out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."

"All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage.
Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them."

"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."

"Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip."

"Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before
you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for
a flu shot, dump him."

"I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill."

"Who, in their infinite wisdom, decreed that Little League uniforms be white?
Certainly not a mother."

"Why is it when you want a nice souvenir, you find a great shell in a gift shop,
but some yo-yo has affixed a ten-cent thermometer to it?"

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Inspirational Life Quotes and a Verse...

Inspirational Life Quotes and a Verse

(Part 4)

"Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord,
and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while,
you will grow as you learn to know God better and better."
- Colossians 1:10

"Your daily life is your temple and your religion.
When you enter into it, take with you your all."
- Kahlil Gibran

"To affect the quality of the day; that is the art of life."
- Henry David Thoreau

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
- Theodore Roosevelt

"I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life -
and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I
wanted to do."
- Georgia O'Keeffe

"Most people fail in life because they major in minor things."
- Anthony Robbins

"Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source
of our security, guidance, wisdom and power."
- Stephen Covey

"Love life, engage in it, give it all you've got.
Love it with a passion, because life truly does give back,
many times over, what you put into it."
- Maya Angelou

"To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing,
to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for
one man's life."
- T. S. Eliot

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning,
but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
- Maria Robinson

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years."
- Abraham Lincoln

"Life is like a ten-speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears that we never use."
- Charles Schulz

Friday, October 9, 2009

Laura Ingalls Wilder Quotes...

Laura Ingalls Wilder Quotes

"No one ever achieved anything from the smallest object
to the greatest unless the dream was dreamed first."

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things
of life which are the real ones after all."

"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest
and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with
simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong."

"I believe we would be happier to have a personal
revolution in our individual lives and go back to simpler
living and more direct thinking."

"We who live in quiet places have the opportunity to become
acquainted with ourselves, to think our own thoughts."

"If enough people think of a thing and work hard enough at it,
I guess it's pretty nearly bound to happen,
wind and weather permitting."

"There's no great loss without some small gain."

"The trouble with organizing a thing is that pretty soon
folks get to paying more attention to the organization than to
what they're organized for."

"To know I have helped someone a little or made a day
brighter will make my own work easier and cause the sun
to shine on the dark days, for we all have them."

"All those golden autumn days the sky was full of wings. Wings
beating low over the blue water of Silver Lake, wings beating high
in the blue air far above it. Wings of geese, of brant, of ducks
and pelicans and cranes and heron and swans and gulls,
bearing them all away to green fields in the South."

"Home is the nicest word there is."

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Joke - Emergency Exit...

Emergency Exit

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the
roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in.
The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"

The brunette jumps and, SWISH, the firemen yank the blanket away. The brunette
slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!!" say the firemen to the redhead.

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead.

"No, It's brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with redheads!"

"OK," says the redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket
away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump!
You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the blonde.

"No, really, it's OK! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna
pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back
away from it... "

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Joke - Mischievous Kids...

Mischievous Kids

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous.
The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that
if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some
capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons'

The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining
children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot.
He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with
him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even
sterner tone, "Where is God!?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even
louder and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in
his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and
they think we did it!"

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Joke - Bubba...


Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there
is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them!"

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba,
how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door,
and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your
friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's
house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him. Let's fly out to Washington."

And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Bubba on the tour and
motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just
on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have
a cup of coffee first and catch up!"

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts
to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" boasts Bubba. "My folks are from Italy, and I've known the
Pope a long time."

Off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses
in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch
the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards,
so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

Bubba disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough,
half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

By the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is
surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks
him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came
out on the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who's that on the balcony
with Bubba?'"