Thursday, April 26, 2012

Joke - Summer Job...

Summer Job

During the summer, before eleventh grade and my senior year
of high school, I found a great summer job cleaning the elegant
home of an older couple.
The work wasn't bad at all and it paid well. The only thing I
really hated about the job was cleaning up after the kind couple's
two dogs.
I was assigned many other duties in the couple's home. The one
I enjoyed most was maintaining rare carvings the couple had
collected around the world on their travelings, as well as petrified
collectibles they had also acquired. These findings were displayed
in the couple's living room in their hutch. Some days I would look
at the petrified collectibles and contemplate them. How old were
they? From what animal did they come? Then I would dust each
one, carefully placing it back in it's place in the hutch.

One day I was astonished to find two ivory fossils lying on the
floor behind the hutch. I quickly picked them up and put them on
a shelf in the hutch next to the other fossils. The next week the
same thing happened. So I did the same.

That afternoon my employer came into the living room, her faithful
canine behind her. Looking around, she eyed the hutch.

"Tippy," she asked the dog, "how do your bones keep getting
up there?"

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Joke - English School...

English School

Donald MacDonald from Scotland went to study at an English
university and was living in the hall of residence with all the
other students there. After he had been there a month, his
mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of
tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whisky).

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The
one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't
stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night."

"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful,
noisy English neighbors?"

"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly,
playing my bagpipes."