Friday, December 31, 2010

Quotes for a New Year...

Quotes for a New Year

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going
to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity
and its first chapter is New Year's Day."
- Edith Lovejoy Pierce

"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room,
drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe
this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms
of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential."
- Ellen Goodman

"What the New Year brings to you will depend a great deal
on what you bring to the New Year."
- Vern McLellan

"One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this:
To rise above the little things."
- John Burroughs

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on,
with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."
- Hal Borland

"Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go,
for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go."
- Brooks Atkinson

"You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about
yesterday all the time."
- Charles F. Kettering

"Resolve to make at least one person happy every day,
and then in ten years you may have made three thousand,
six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small
town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment."
- Sydney Smith

"Nothing is worth more than this day."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye,
When this New Year in time shall end,
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year."
- Edgar A. Guest

Happy New Year, one and all!!! 
Sending out love and joy... Val =)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Year's Jokes...

Lecture on New Year's Eve

On New Year’s Eve, Dan was in no shape to drive, so he
sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he
was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What
are you doing out here at four o’clock in the morning?" asked
the police officer.

"I’m on my way to a lecture," answered Dan.

"And who in their right mind is going to give a lecture at this
time on New Year’s Eve?" enquired the constable sarcastically.

"My wife," slurred Dan grimly.

A New Year's Day Prayer for the Elderly

God, grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

New Year's Day Prayer for One and All

Dear Lord,

So far this year, I've done well.

I haven't gossiped or lost my temper. I haven't been greedy,
grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent. I'm very thankful
for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of
bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Joke - Good Business?...

Good Business?

Paul, a senior official in his company, walked into a London bank
and asked to see the loan's manager.

He said he was going to America on business for two weeks and
needed to borrow £10,000 ($19,000). The loan manager said
the bank would need some collateral for the loan.

Paul immediately handed over the keys of a Mercedes that was
parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out
and the loan officer accepted the car as security for the loan.

An employee then drove the Mercedes into the bank's
underground garage and parked it there.

Paul returned two weeks later. He repaid the £10,000 and the
interest, which amounted to £9.41 ($18).

The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this
transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled.
While you were away, we checked and found that you are a
multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to
borrow £10,000?"

With a broad grin Paul responded, "Where else in London can I
park my car for two weeks for less than £10?"

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Joke - The Lion and the Mime...

The Lion and the Mime

One day an out-of-work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to
earn some money as a street performer.

However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper
grabs him and drags him into his office.

The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular
attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that
attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to
dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime

The next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on the
gorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it's a great job.
He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he
draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

However, eventually the crowds tire of him, and he gets bored
just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are
paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.

Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the
top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the
top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but
the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a
raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.

Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion,
the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one
terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and
falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares
to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and
round the cage with the lion close behind.

Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, help me!",
but the lion is quick and pounces.

The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the
angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to
get us both fired?"

Monday, December 27, 2010

Fun and Funny New Year's Resolution Quotes...

Fun and Funny New Year's Resolution Quotes

"Cheers to a New Year and another chance
for us to get it right."
- Oprah Winfrey

"New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly,
provided this does not encourage them to take up more
of my time."
- James Agate

"It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets."
- William Thomas

"I made no resolutions for the New Year.
The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and
molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me."
- Anais Nin

"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your
regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin
paving hell with them as usual."
- Mark Twain

"He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool."
- F. M. Knowles

"Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's
resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since."
- Dave Beard

"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a
bank where they have no account."
- Oscar Wilde

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one
year and out the other."
- Author Unknown

"May all your troubles last as long as your
New Year's resolutions."
- Joey Adams

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Winter Quotes and a Bible Verse...

Winter Quotes and a Bible Verse

"It was You who set all the boundaries on the earth;
You made both summer and winter."
- Psalm 74:17

"Be like the sun and meadow, which are not in the least
concerned about the coming winter."
- George Bernard Shaw

"Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments,
embark upon a sentimental journey, and enjoy every idle hour."
- John Boswell

"In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy."
- William Blake

"Let us love winter, for it is the spring of genius."
- Pietro Aretino

"The bee, from her industry in the summer, eats honey
all the winter."
- A Proverb

"Winter comes fast on the lazy."
- An Irish Saying

"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories."
- Terry McKay, 'An Affair to Remember'

"People don't notice if it's winter or summer when
they're happy."
- Anton Chekov

"Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow."
- Robert Lee Frost

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!...

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government
will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
- Isaiah 9:6

Happy Christmas Eve, everyone! I hope you are surrounded by
loved ones today and are at a warm and dry and cozy place.
I have some Christmas-themed sites for you all today. I have been
collecting these for a couple of weeks. I hope you have fun with
these and are inspired as well!

God bless you on this day and I hope you have time to reflect
tonight and tomorrow on what priceless gift God gave us and why
we celebrate Christmas. Sending you Christmas joy... Val =)

Two websites with loads of Christmas fun and links:
Xmas Fun!
Christmas World

Decorate a Xmas Tree at Donna's:
Decorate a Xmas Tree

Your kids will giggle with this and so will you:

Just like regular Tic Tac Toe:

My favorite Christmas song:

Read how Christmas is celebrated in other countries:

The Birth of Jesus

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census
should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census
that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone
went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea,
to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and
line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to
be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the
time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn,
a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger,
because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping
watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them,
and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news
that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David
a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will
be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in
a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with
the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
And on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds
said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that
has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was
lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word
concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard
it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured
up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned,
glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen,
which were just as they had been told.
- Luke 2:1-20

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Christmas Humor...

A Divorce for the Holidays

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before
Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have
to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five
years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?!" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the
father explains. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of
talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell
her, please."

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the
phone, "No way are they getting a divorce! I'll take care
of this!"

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father,
"You two are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing
until I get there! I'm calling brother back and we'll both be
there tomorrow. Until then, don't do anything, DO YOU
HEAR ME?!!" and she hangs up.

The elderly man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas and they're paying
their own way!"

Click link below for a short and funny interactive joke:

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Redneck Night Before Christmas...

'Twas The Night After Christmas

'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer,
The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys,
And I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.

The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife,
The worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives.
My wife couldn't argue and neither could I,
So I just watched TV, and my wife, she just cried.

When out in the yard the dog started barkin',
I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin.
He yelled, "Roy, I am sworn to uphold the laws,
And I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."

I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus,
And you ain't taking me in without probable cause."
Then the Sheriff, he said, "The man was shot at last night."
I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like?"

The Sheriff replied, "He's a jolly old feller with a big beer-gut belly,
That shakes when he laughs like a bowl-ful of jelly.
He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry."
I said, "Sheriff, that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."

"It's no time for jokes, Roy," the Sheriff, he said,
"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red.
I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean,
Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."

Well I started to lie, then I thought what the he**,
It wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail.
I said, "Sheriff, it happened last night about ten,
And I thought that my wife had been drinking again."

When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost,
I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFOs.
But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head,
And stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red.

Well, I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder,
A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter.
Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun,
When outta Red's chimney this feller did run.

And slung on his back was this bag over flowin',
I thought he'd stoled Red's stuff while old Red was out bowlin'.
So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!"
But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.

So I popped a warning shot over his head,
Well, he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled.
And as he flew off I heard him extort,
"That's assault with intent, Roy, I'll see ya in court."

- by Jeff Foxworthy

Monday, December 20, 2010

Fun and Funny Winter Quotes...

Fun and Funny Winter Quotes

"I like these cold, gray winter days.
Days like these let you savor a bad mood."
- Bill Watterson

"The problem with winter sports is that, follow me closely here,
they generally take place in winter."
- Dave Barry

"There are only two seasons - winter and baseball."
- Bill Veeck

"A lot of people like snow.
I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."
- Carl Reiner

"When it snows, you have two choices:
shovel or make snow angels."
- Author Unknown

"Bad weather always looks worse through a window."
- Author Unknown

"Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath,
for the instinct to be half asleep all winter is so strong in me."
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"There's one good thing about snow,
it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's."
- Clyde Moore

"To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring."
- W. J. Vogel

"You can’t get too much winter in the winter."
- Robert Frost