Fun and Funny Christmas Quotes
"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season;
the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church;
the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue;
the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing
each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!'
or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists)
'Look out for the wall!'"
- Dave Barry
“I bought my Christmas tree today. I think I made
a mistake though. I bought the three year extended
warranty. I don’t think I need that.”
- Jay Leno
"Mail your packages early so the post office
can lose them in time for Christmas."
- Johnny Carson
"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has
never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present."
- Author Unknown
"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in
the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other."
- Johnny Carson
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year."
- Victor Borge
"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching
to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola,
fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product
consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would
mix so harmoniously?"
- Bill Watterson, 'Calvin & Hobbes'
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and
tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
- Frank McKinney Hubbard
"Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!"
- Ogden Nash
"Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish."
- Benny Hill