Friday, January 30, 2009

Winter Quotes...

Winter Quotes

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that
within me there lay an invincible summer."
- Albert Camus
"There is a wilder solitude in winter when
every sense is pricked alive and keen."
- May Sarton
"There is a privacy about it which no other
season gives you. In spring, summer, and fall
people sort of have an open season on each other;
only in the winter, in the country, can you
have longer, quiet stretches when you
can savor belonging to yourself."
- Ruth Stout
"In a way winter is the real spring, the time when
the inner thing happens, the resurge of nature."
- Edna O'Brien
"The cold was our pride, the snow was
our beauty. It fell and fell, lacing day and night
together in a milky haze, making everything quieter
as it fell, so that winter seemed to partake of religion
in a way no other season did, hushed, solemn."
- Patricia Hampl
"Winter is on my head, but
eternal spring is in my heart."
- Victor Hugo
"If we had no winter, the spring would
not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes
taste of adversity, prosperity would
not be so welcome."
- Anne Bradstreet
"People don't notice whether it's winter
or summer when they're happy.”
- Anton Chekhov
"I prefer winter and fall, when you
feel the bone structure of the landscape -
the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter.
Something waits beneath it, the whole
story doesn't show."
- Andrew Wyeth
"Winter came down to our home one night quietly
pirouetting in on silvery-toed slippers of snow,
and we, we were children once again."
- Bill Morgan Jr.
"When the snow is still blowing against
the window-pane in January and February and
the wild winds are howling without, what pleasure
it is to plan for summer that is to be."
- Celia Thaxter
"Winter is the time for comfort, for good
food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly
hand and for a talk beside the fire:
it is the time for home."
- Edith Sitwell
"One kind word can warm
three winter months."
- Japanese proverb

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Joke - She Was So Blonde That...

She Was So Blonde That...

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tripped over the cordless phone.

She put lipstick on her forehead because
she wanted to makeup her mind.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened
around the home, she moved.

Did you hear about the blonde
that got an AM radio?
It took her months to figure out
she could use it at night.

What did the blonde say when she saw the
sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
They're too hard to retrain.

What do you call nine blondes
standing in a circle?
A dope ring.

Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
Because they can't fit the
bottle in the typewriter.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What's the definition of eternity?
Four blondes at a 4-way stop.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
"This Goes In Front".

What did the blonde say when she
looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh, look!! Donut seeds!"

Did you hear about the blonde
sniffing nutrasweet?
Yeah, she thought it was diet coke.

How can you tell when a blonde has been
making chocolate chip cookies?
The M&M shells all over the floor.

Why did the blonde get fired
from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out the W's.

What do you call a brunette
between two blondes?
An interpreter.

Which is harder to make: a blonde, a
brunette, or a red-headed snowman?
A blonde. You have to hollow out its head.

Do blonde jokes offend anyone? Let me know!
My apologies if they do. I would never
want to hurt or offend. Val =)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Joke - Life Explained...

Life Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark
at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog replied, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only
ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people. Do tricks and
make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform.
How about I give you back ten years like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer
all day long and suffer under the sun. You must have calves and give milk to support
the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow replied, "That's kind of a tough life to live for sixty years.
How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said, "Eat, sleep, play,
marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

Man complained and said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,
the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog
gave back? That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next
ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. Finally, the last ten
years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


I have gotten this a couple of times in my email box from fellow-Pennsylvanians and I can
say that this is very true. I grew up in Virginia, but quickly acclimated to the ways of PA
when I moved here 18 years ago. Where are YOU from? What is peculariar about
your state or town?

Talking Pennsylvanian

For those who think we 'talk funny' or use 'big words', here's why...

Once a Pennsylvanian, ALWAYS a Pennsylvanian!

About Pennsylvanians: You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything
but 'Philly' and New Jersey has always been 'Jersey'.

We don't go to the beach, we go 'down the shore'.

You refer to Pennsylvania as 'PA' (pronounced Pee-Ay).
How many other states do that??

'You guys' (or even 'youze guys', in some places) is a perfectly acceptable
reference to a group of men and women.

You know how to respond to the question 'Djeetyet?' (Did you eat yet?)

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, the Poconos, Tamaqua,
Kutztown,Tunkahannock, Bala Cynwyd, Duquesne and Monongahela. also Conshohocken.

And we know Lancaster is pronounced Lank-ister, not Lan-kaster.

You know what a 'Mummer' is, and are disappointed if you can't
catch at least highlights of the parade.

You know what 'Punxsutawney Phil' is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.

The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.

At least five people on your block have electric 'candles' in all or most of their windows
all year long. (my next door neighbor has electric candles in his window all year long,
as does my neighbor upstairs. Why? I do not know. LOL)

You know what a 'State Store' is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that
you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart. (I live next door to a state store.)

Words like 'hoagie', 'crick', 'chipped ham', 'dippy eggs', 'sticky buns,', 'shoo-fly pie',
'lemon sponge pie', 'pierogies' and 'pocketbook' actually mean something to you.
(By the way, that last one's PA slang for a purse!)

You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast!) and know others who do the same.
Those from NY find this 'barbaric.' (I can eat anything cold for breakfast.)

You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors.

You know the difference between a cheese steak and a pizza steak sandwich,
and you know that you also can't get a really good one anywhere outside of the
Philly area. (Except maybe in Atlantic City on the boardwalk.)

You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning
of funnel cake season. (They are so good!)

You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Paradise, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon,
Virginville, Mars, Bethlehem, Hershey, Indiana, Sinking Spring, Jersey Shore,
State College, Washington Crossing, Jim Thorpe, King of Prussia, Wind Gap,
and Slippery Rock are all PA towns ... and the first three were consecutive stops
on the old Reading RR! (PS - That's pronounced Redd-ing).

You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth are.

You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, Maryland or other neighboring states
by their unique and irritating driving habits and their front license plates!

A traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage
on the highway in Lancaster County.

You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
(my daughter hit a deer =( . They can really ruin your car.)

You carry jumper cables in your car and your female passengers know how to use them.

Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.

You know beer doesn't grow in a garden, but you know where to find a beer garden.

You also know someone who lives 'down the lane'.

You actually understand all this and send it on to other
Pennsylvanians or former Pennsylvanians!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is
simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."
- Albert Einstein

"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at
the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
- Mark Twain

"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
- Katharine Hepburn

"If it's not fun, you're not doing it right."
- Bob Basso

"Nature gives you the face you have at 20; it is up
to you to inherit the face you have at 50."
- Coco Chanel

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is
an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
- George Carlin

"I used to sell furniture for a living.
The trouble was, it was my own."
- Les Dawson

"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog:
'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'"
- Eleanor Roosevelt

"By the time a man is wise enough to watch
his step, he's too old to go anywhere."
- Billy Crystal

"Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older, it will avoid you."
- Winston Churchill

"Man cannot live by bread alone.
He must have peanut butter."
- Bill Cosby

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Pain Quotes and Verses...

Pain Quotes and Verses

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth
comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
- Romans 8:1
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are
suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.
But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ,
so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."
- 1st Peter 4:12-13


"Pain is a part of being alive, and we need to learn that.
Pain does not last forever, nor is it necessarily unbeatable,
and we need to be taught that."
– Harold Kushner
"Given the choice between the experience of
pain and nothing, I would choose pain."
- William Faulkner
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
- Author Unknown
"We cannot learn without pain."
- Aristotle
"But pain insists upon being attended to.
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in
our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His
megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
- C. S. Lewis
"Laughter is the tonic, the relief,
the surcease for pain."
- Charlie Chaplin
"The pain of the mind is worse
than the pain of the body."
- Publilius Syrus
"My barn having burned to the ground,
I can now see the moon."
- Japanese poet Masahide
"Pain is never permanent."
- St. Teresa of Avila

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Quotes on Nature...

Quotes on Nature

"When you tug at a single thing in nature, you find
it attached to the rest of the world."
- John Muir
"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Nature is a writer's best friend."
- Agavé Powers
"To find the universal elements enough;
to find the air and the water exhilarating;
to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter;
to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's
nest or a wildflower in spring - these are some of the
rewards of the simple life."
- John Burroughs
"Nature is the art of God."
- Thomas Browne
"To sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon
verdure is the most perfect refreshment."
- Jane Austen
"Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds,
look at the stars... and if you have eyes you will be able to
see that the whole existence is joyful. Everything is simply happy.
Trees are happy for no reason; they are not going to become prime
ministers or presidents and they are not going to become rich and
they will never have any bank balance. Look at the flowers -
for no reason. It is simply unbelievable how happy flowers are."
- Osho
"Look deep into nature, and then you will
understand everything better."
- Albert Einstein
"Nature is my medicine."
- Sara Moss-Wolfe
"The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful."
- e.e. cummings

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Real, Funny Comments on Police Car Videos...

Real, Funny Comments on Police Car Videos

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than
the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means
I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning?! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not
to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you
are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn
dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

13. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend
of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.."


16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right , we don't. Sign here."

Joke - You Were By My Side

You Were By My Side

This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a
coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside
every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned
for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know
what? You have been with me through all of the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my
business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were
by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right there.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to
fill with warmth.

"I think you are bad luck."

Funny Oscar Wilde Quotes...

Funny Oscar Wilde Quotes

"In married life three is company and two none."
"I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing
in the world that never contradicts me."
"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune;
to lose both looks like carelessness."
"I am not young enough to know everything."
"I can resist everything except temptation."
"Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a
woman anything she can't wear in the evening."
"One should never trust a woman who tells her
real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything."
"True friends stab you in the front."
"It is better to be beautiful than to be good.
But... it is better to be good than to be ugly."
"Bad artists always admire each other's work."
"There is only one thing in life worse than being talked
about, and that is not being talked about."
"Experience is the name every one
gives to their mistakes."

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Quotes on Passion and Enthusiasm...

Quotes on Passion and Enthusiasm

"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your
spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."
- Romans 12:11
"The most powerful weapon on earth
is the human soul on fire."
- Ferdinand Foch
"One person with passion is better than
forty people merely interested."
- E. M. Forster
"Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines
of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might.
Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality.
Be active, be energetic and faithful, and you will accomplish your
object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Men live by intervals of reason under the
sovereignty of humor and passion."
- Thomas Browne
"When you set yourself on fire, people
love to come and see you burn."
- John Wesley
"If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins."
- Benjamin Franklin
"Nobody can be successful unless he loves his work."
- David Sarnoff
"Passion and purpose go hand in hand. When you
discover your purpose, you will normally find it's
something you're tremendously passionate about."
- Steve Pavlina
"Passion is the genesis of genius."
- Anthony Robbins
"Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting...
and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir...
open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us...
passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice
do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments.
The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of
grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could
live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace...
but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank.
Without passion we'd be truly dead."
- Josh Whedon

Friday, January 16, 2009

Child-like Quotes...

Child-like Quotes

"The great man is he who does
not lose his childlike heart."
- Mencius
"In every real man a child is
hidden that wants to play."
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
"If my heart can become pure and simple,
like that of a child, I think there probably
can be no greater happiness than this."
- Kitaro Nishida
"I know not how I seem to others, but to
myself I am but a small child wandering
upon the vast shores of knowledge, every
now and then finding a small bright
pebble to content myself with."
- Plato
"A child reminds us that playtime is an
essential part of our daily routine."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You can be childlike without
being childish."
- Christopher Meloni
"The pursuit of truth and beauty is a
sphere of activity in which we are
permitted to remain children
all our lives."
- Albert Einstein
"Children make you want
to start life over."
- Muhammad Ali
"While we try to teach our children
all about life, our children teach us
what life is all about."
- Angela Schwindt
"An honest man is always a child."
- Socrates

Thursday, January 15, 2009

A Funny - Men verses Women

Men verses Women


If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller,
and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.


A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.


A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book,
and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Funny - The Month After Christmas

The Month After Christmas

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibble, the eggnog I’d taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt -
I said to myself, as I only can, “You can’t spend
a winter disguised as a man!”
So - away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip,
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
‘Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie - not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore -
But isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, not long a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Joke - The Perfect Pet

The Perfect Pet

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he
wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop
owner suggests a faithful dog.

The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"

The owner says, "How about a cat?"

The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do
everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says,
"I've got it! A centipede!"

The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede
doing everything, but okay. I'll try a centipede."

He gets the centipede home and says to
the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's
immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed,
dried, and put away; the countertops cleaned; the appliances
sparkling; the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room.
The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted;
the pillows on the sofa plumped; and the plants watered. The man
thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
This really is a pet that can do everything!"

Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to
the corner and get me a newspaper."

The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later,
no centipede. Twenty minutes later, no centipede.
Thirty minutes later, no centipede.

By this point, the man is wondering what's going on.
So he goes to the front door, opens it, and there's the
centipede sitting right outside.

The man says, "Hey! I sent you down to the corner
store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper.
What's the matter?!"

The centipede says, "I'm going! I'm going!
I'm just putting on my shoes!"

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Joke- Do I Smell Gas?

Do I Smell Gas?

Two gas company servicemen, a training supervisor and a young
trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.
They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their
way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out
her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her
gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the supervisor challenged
his younger co-worker to a footrace down the alley back to the
truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the
lady from the last house was huffing and puffing right
behind them. Naturally, they stopped and asked
her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas
men running as hard as you two were, I just knew I'd
better run too!"

Monday, January 12, 2009

Fun and Funny Quotes

Fun and Funny Quotes

"The shortest distance between two
points is under construction."
- Noelie Altito

"When you come to a fork
in the road, take it."
- Yogi Berra

"Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same."
- Oscar Wilde

"Two things are infinite: the universe
and human stupidity; and I'm not
sure about the universe."
- Albert Einstein

"Experience is the name everyone
gives to their mistakes."
- Oscar Wilde

"Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."
- Groucho Marx

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone
hates me. He said I was being ridiculous -
everyone hasn't met me yet."
- Rodney Dangerfield

"The pen is mightier than the sword,
and considerably easier to write with."
- Marty Feldman

"I worry that the person who thought up
Muzak may be thinking up something else."
- Lily Tomlin

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning
of love; the running across fields into your
lover's arms can only come later when
you're sure they won't laugh if you trip."
- Jonathan Carroll

"Sometimes when I look at my children,
I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should
have remained a virgin.'"
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

"Why would you have cake if
you couldn't eat it, too?"

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Conquering Fear Quotes and Verses...

Conquering Fear Quotes and Verses

"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though
the earth give way and the mountains
fall into the heart of the sea."
- Psalm 46:1-2

"So don't be afraid;
you are more valuable to God
than a whole flock of sparrows."
- Matthew 10:31


"Courage is being scared to death,
but saddling up anyway."
- John Wayne
"Fear is the main source of superstition,
and one of the main sources of cruelty.
To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom."
- Bertrand Russell

"Be not afraid of life. Believe that
life is worth living and your belief
will help create the fact."
- William James
"You gain strength, courage, and
confidence by every experience in which
you stop to look fear in the face."
- Eleanor Roosevelt

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Fear can't hold a candle to unswerving faith,
much less muster up the guts to
even attempt to blow it out."
- B. G. Jett
"Feed your faith and your fears
will starve to death."
- Author Unknown
"Confront your fears, list them,
get to know them, and only then
will you be able to put them aside
and move ahead."
- Jerry Gillies
"You don't drown by falling in the water.
You drown by staying there."
- Author Unknown

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Integrity Quotes...

Integrity Quotes

“If a man is called to be a streetsweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of
heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a
great streetsweeper who did his job well.”
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Real integrity is doing the right thing,
knowing that nobody's going to know
whether you did it or not."
- Oprah Winfrey
“Live so that when your children think of
fairness and integrity, they think of you.”
- H. Jackson Brown
"I never had a policy; I have just tried to
do my very best each and every day."
- Abraham Lincoln
“Character is doing the right thing
when nobody's looking. There are too
many people who think that the only thing
that's right is to get by, and the only
thing that's wrong is to get caught.”
- J. C. Watts

“The most important persuasion tool you
have in your entire arsenal is integrity.”
- Zig Ziglar
“The most important human endeavor
is striving for morality in our actions. Our inner
balance and even our very existence depend on it.
Only morality in our actions can give beauty
and dignity to our lives.”
- Albert Einstein
"A person is not given integrity. It results from
the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times."
- Author Unknown
“You can easily judge the character
of others by how they treat those who
can do nothing for them or to them.”
- Malcolm S. Forbes
"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If
you don't have integrity, nothing else matters."
- Alan K. Simpson
"A man can do only what a man can do.
But if he does that each day he can sleep at
night and do it again the next day."
- Albert Schweitzer
“Be honorable yourself if you wish to
associate with honorable people.”
- A Welsh Proverb

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Joke - The Blonde Detectives

The Blonde Detectives

A policeman was interrogating three blondes who were training to
become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect,
he shows them a picture, then hides it.

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch
him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's because
the picture shows his profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the
picture for five seconds at the second blonde and asks her,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha!
He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you
two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing
because it's a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer
you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to
the third blonde and in a very test voice asks, "This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds,
"Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and
says, "The suspect wears contact lenses!"

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really
doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes
while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file
in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact
wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make
such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular
glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

Joke - The Hot Mama Machine

The Hot Mama Machine

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost
everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move.

"Father?" asked the boy.

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have
never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair
rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady
rolled between them and into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his
father watched small circles of light with numbers above the wall light up. They
continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened
up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father said to his son, "Go get your mother!"

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Fun Game...

This is a fun little game. I mastered it after about eight tries.
Let me know how you do! Click on words below to play:

Joke - Farmer's Divorce

Farmer's Divorce

A farmer walks into an attorney's office wanting
to file for a divorce. The attorney asks, "May I help you?"

The farmer answers, "Yea, I want to get
one of those day-vorce's."

The attorney asks, "Well, do you have any grounds?"

The farmer replies, "Yea, I got about 140 acres."

The attorney says, "No, you don't understand,
do you have a case?"

The farmer says, "No, I don't have a Case,
but I got a John Deere."

"No you don't understand," replies the attorney,
"I mean do you have a grudge?"

The farmer says, "Yea I got a grudge,
that's where I park my John Deere."

The attorney says, "No sir, I mean
do you have a suit?"

The farmer replies, "Yes sir, I got a suit.
I wear to the church on Sundays."

The exasperated attorney asks, "Well sir, does
your wife beat you up or anything?"

The farmer replies, "No sir, we both
get up about 4:30."

Finally the attorney asks, "Okay, let me put it

And the farmer answers, "Well, I can never
have a meaningful conversation with her."

Monday, January 5, 2009

Fun and Funny Quotes by Robert Frost...

Fun and Funny Quotes by Robert Frost

"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
"You can be a little ungrammatical if you
come from the right part of the country."
"The brain is a wonderful organ;
it starts working the moment you get
up in the morning and does not stop until
you get into the office."
"The world is full of willing people; some
willing to work, the rest willing to let them."
"By working faithfully eight hours a day
you may eventually get to be boss and
work twelve hours a day."
"The reason why worry kills more people than
work is that more people worry than work."
"A civilized society is one which tolerates
eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity."
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen
to decide who has the better lawyer."
"The middle of the road is where the white
line is - and that's the worst place to drive."
"Thinking isn't agreeing or
disagreeing. That's voting."
"I'd just as soon play tennis
with the net down."
"A mother takes twenty years to make
a man of her boy, and another woman
makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a
woman's birthday but never remembers her age."
"We dance round in a ring and suppose,
but the secret sits in the middle and knows."
"Half the world is composed of people
who have something to say and can't and
the other half who have nothing to say
and keep on saying it."
"Forgive me my nonsense,
as I also forgive the nonsense of
those that think they talk sense."

Do you have a favorite?

Sunday, January 4, 2009

To my readers...

Hi my dear readers! I wanted to let you know that there is a neat gadget in the sidebar,
Yahoo! Babelfish, that allows you to read this blog (and others) in different languages.
Just type in the URL of the blog in its entirety beginning with http:// and click the drop
down bar underneath that says "Translate from". It has many languages! You can also
type in a phrase or word if you like. Try it, it's neat! I know I have readers from other
countries (hi!!!) and I thought you may want to read this blog in your country's native
language. Neat! Have a nice rest of your day, my friends! Val =)

Success Quotes and a Verse...

Success Quotes and a Verse

"All a man's ways seem innocent to him,
but motives are weighed by the Lord. Commit to the
Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."
- Proverbs 16:3

"I know the price of success: dedication,
hard work, and an unremitting devotion to
the things you want to see happen."
- Frank Lloyd Wright

"The harder you work the
harder it is to surrender."
- Vince Lombardi

“Character cannot be developed in ease
and quiet. Only through experience of trial
and suffering can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
- Helen Keller

"Success is more a function of consistent
common sense than it is of genius."
- An Wang

"They can because they think they can."
- Virgil

"The thing always happens that
you really believe in; and the belief
in a thing makes it happen."
- Frank Lloyd Wright

"The greatest results in life are
usually attained by simple means and
the exercise of ordinary qualities. These may
for the most part be summed in these two:
common-sense and perseverance."
- Owen Feltham

"To climb steep hills requires
a slow pace at first."
- William Shakespeare

"Success is the good fortune that
comes from aspiration, desperation,
perspiration and inspiration."
- Evan Esar

"If you wish success in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor, caution
your elder brother, and hope your
guardian genius."
- Joseph Addison

Do you have a favorite?

Friday, January 2, 2009

New Beginning Quotes...

New Beginning Quotes

"Beginning today,
treat everyone you meet as if they
were going to be dead by midnight.
Extend to them all the care, kindness,
and understanding you can muster, and
do it with no thought of any reward. Your
life will never be the same again."
- Og Mandino


"The secret to a rich life is to have
more beginnings than endings."
- Dave Weinbaum


"One step must start each journey."
- Author Unknown


"There are two mistakes one can make along
the road to truth... not going all the way,
and not starting."
- Buddha


"Keep on beginning and failing.
Each time you fail, start all over again,
and you will grow stronger until you have
accomplished a purpose - not the one
you began with perhaps, but one
you'll be glad to remember."
- Anne Sullivan


"Motivation is what gets you started.
Habit is what keeps you going."
- Jim Rohn


"It is not death that a man should fear,
but he should fear never beginning
to live."
- Marcus Aurelius


"Making the beginning is
one-third of the work."
- An Irish Proverb


"All great deeds and all great thoughts
have a ridiculous beginning."
- Albert Camus


"There will come a time when
you believe everything is finished.
That will be the beginning."
- Louis L'Amour

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Joke - New Years Resolutions For Internet Junkies

New Years Resolutions For Internet Junkies

* I will try to figure out why I "really"
need 12 e-mail addresses.

* I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
A phone call every now and then would be appreciated.

* I will answer my snail mail with the same
enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.

* I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, and instant messages and
be on the phone at the same time with the same person

* I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...
well, once a week... okay, monthly then...
or maybe... at least once a year.

* I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet.
This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not
a clock watcher. (One hour :-o!!! LOL Tee Hee..)

* I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning.
4:30 is much more practical since my friends
overseas already had time to answer me by then.

* When I hear a funny joke, I will
not reply, "LOL... LOL!"

* I will read the manual... just as
soon as I can find it.

* I will think of a password other than "password".

* I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh,
get my, er, off-line work done, too!

Jokes for the New Year...

A Bad Dream?

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities.

After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, "I just dreamed that you
gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present! What do you think it all means?"

"Aha, you'll know tonight," answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and
handed her a small package. Delighted and excited, she opened it quickly.

There in her hand rested a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.


New Year's Day Party - That Never Was?

As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple,
faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football match
on television, or the lunch itself.

Hoping to keep the peace, Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even
lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat, before retiring to the lounge
to turn on the television.

Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how Nigel was and graciously
even brought him a cold beer. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek,
and asked what the score was. Nigel told her it was half time and that
the score was still 0 - 0.

"See?" Janet said happily, "You didn't miss a thing."