Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Real, Funny Comments on Police Car Videos...

Real, Funny Comments on Police Car Videos

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than
the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means
I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning?! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not
to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you
are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn
dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

13. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend
of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.."


16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right , we don't. Sign here."


  1. This was just too funny!

    Hugs, Rose

  2. They just don't know how to look pathetic and cry! It's not an act, though, as I usually have been really scared when I've been stopped as I KNEW I was speeding. One time the policeman said to me, after looking at my license, "You know, you were speeding so badly that it would cost you your lisence IF you had one"...(it had expired, YIKES)! xx Merry


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