Jokes for the New Year...

A Bad Dream?

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities.

After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, "I just dreamed that you
gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present! What do you think it all means?"

"Aha, you'll know tonight," answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and
handed her a small package. Delighted and excited, she opened it quickly.

There in her hand rested a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.

*******

New Year's Day Party - That Never Was?

As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple,
faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football match
on television, or the lunch itself.

Hoping to keep the peace, Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even
lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat, before retiring to the lounge
to turn on the television.

Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how Nigel was and graciously
even brought him a cold beer. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek,
and asked what the score was. Nigel told her it was half time and that
the score was still 0 - 0.

"See?" Janet said happily, "You didn't miss a thing."