No Hiding Place
Walking into the bar, Shamus said to O'Heir the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one.
I just had another fight with the little woman."
"O, bejabbers," said O'Heir, "and how did this one end?"
"Hah, when it was over," Shamus replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really?!" cried O'Heir, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, Shamus, you little chicken."
1 1 1
An elderly couple were driving through County Kerry, Ireland. Irene was driving
when she got pulled over by the Gardai, who asks her, "Ma'am did you know that
you were speeding?"
Irene turns to her husband, Mick, and enquires, "What did he say?"
Mick yells out, "He says you were speeding!"
The Garda said, "May I see your license, please, ma'am?"
Irene, once again, turns to Mick and says, "What did he say?"
Once more, Mick, shouts out, "He wants to see your license!"
Irene gives the policeman her driving license.
The Garda retorts, "I see you are from Kerry. I spent some time there once and
had the worst date of my life."
For the final time, Irene turns to Mick and asks, "What did he say?"
Mick yells very loudly, "He thinks he knows you!"