Jokes for St. Patrick's Day...

O'Shaughnessy Needs Time Off

Soon after O'Shaughnessy clocked in for work, the foreman called him
over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office.

When O'Shaughnessy returned, he had a mournful expression on his face
and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if it was bad news.

"To be sure it was, boss." he replied. "I just found out from Ireland that
my mother died earlier this morning."

"Gosh, that's awful." replied the foreman. "Do you want the rest of the
day off?"

"No," replied O'Shaughnessy, "I'll finish the day out."

About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was
another phone call for him in the office. This time when O'Shaughnessy
returned he looked twice as glum, and the foreman asked if everything
was alright.

"Boss, it's even worse news. That was my brother, and his mother died
today, too!"


g g g


Sinkin' Barty

Barty was trapped in a bog, and seemed a goner, when Big Mick O'Reilly
wandered by.

"Help!" Barty shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!"

"Don't worry." assured Mick. "Next to The Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the
strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."

Mick leaned out and grabbed Barty's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail.

After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Barty, "Shure, an' Oi
can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to
get some help."

As Mick was leaving, Barty called "Mick! Mick!...

D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"