Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes


"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you
wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail."
- Fran Lebowitz

)

"I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny
to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener.
I guess I'll have to kill a deer.'"
- David Sedaris
)

"I think everyone should get married at least once,
so you can see what a silly, outdated institution it is."
- Madonna
)

"Before I got married I had six theories about
bringing up children; now I have six children and
no theories."
- John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester
)

"I'm so ugly, my father carries around a picture
of the kid who came with his wallet."
- Rodney Dangerfield
)

"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for
lawn care and vehicle maintenance."
- Tim Allen
)

"Women speak because they wish to speak,
whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech
by something outside himself, like, for instance,
he can't find any clean socks."
- Jean Kerr
)

"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets the more interested he is in her."
- Agatha Christie
)

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.
I want to achieve it through not dying."
- Woody Allen
)

"I do not believe in the afterlife,
although I am bringing a change of underwear."
- Woody Allen