Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A Funny - Spring Classes for Men...





Spring Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Tuesday, March 30, 2010

NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents,
class sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
Step by step, with slide presentation
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday, 2 hours, 7:00 PM

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll
Does It Change Itself?
Round table discussion
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The
Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group practice
Meets 4 weeks, 2 hours, Saturday 10:00 PM

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper
And The Floor
Pictures and explanatory graphics
Meets 3 weeks, Saturday at 2:00 PM

Class 5
Dinner Dishes -
Can They Levitate And Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on video
Meets 4 weeks, 2 hours, Tuesday and Thursday, 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity
Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other
Help-Line support and support groups
Meets 4 weeks, Friday and Sunday, 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things
Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not
Turning The House Upside-Down While Screaming
Open forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours

Class 8
Health Watch
Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health

Graphics and audio tapes
3 nights, Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real life testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly
While She Parallel Parks?
Driving simulations
Meets 4 weeks, 2 hours, Saturday's 12:00 PM

Class 11
Learning To Live
Basic Differences Between Mother And Wife
Online classes and role-playing
Tuesdays, 7:00 PM
Location to be determined

Class 12
How To Be The Ideal Shopping Companion

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
Meets 4 weeks, 2 hours, Tuesday and Thursday, begins at 7:00 PM

Class 13
How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy
Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries And Other Important Dates
And Calling When You're Going To Be Late
Cerebral Shock Therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered
3 nights - Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 2 hours at 7:00 PM

Class 14
The Stove/Oven
What It Is And How It Is Used
Live demonstration
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined


Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

4 comments:

  1. Too funny!! Especially the one about the remote!! If my hubby had to give up the remote there would be a divorce pending!

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  2. Okay, I look at this list as pretty true, LOL. But John does cook sometimes, as well as does the dishes at times. And sometimes I drag him through the stores with me, making him be my "girlfriend," LOL, if I can't find a girlfriend to go out with. He is such a good sport. I will ask him, "Does this shirt look good on me, and he will try to say his honest opinion, like only a true girlfriend would do! So he is a great guy!

    One thing he does NOT do correctly however, is look for something correctly. He starts looking for things in illogical places. Like if we were looking for a cat brush, he may start looking in the refrigerator, and then inside of a book! I say, "No, John, let us start with logical places first!" If we don't find the item there, we'll go to the next logical places." But I say this to know avail, as he runs around the apartment looking ANYWHERE, tearing up all the cleaning I have done for the week! "Stop, I yell!" "I'll look myself if you are going to tear things up." "Well where do you think it could be?" he asks? "I'm thinking with the cat supplies," I answer. So I walk over and look in the cat supply bag and there it is. He just stares at me! Instead of saying, "We'll do it your way next time, he may growl, "Well, how was I supposed to know, it could have been anywhere in here. It's not always where you first look!" I just sigh and begin to clean the house he wrecked. What really surprised me was that this activity was listed in the classes above, as I thought John was the only man who ever did this. I thought it was his signature behavior, LOL.

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  3. I personally like the way blogs like these are created. Really it's funny and inspiring. Such a good stuff to be added on personal collection.

    ReplyDelete

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