Two Short Irish Jokes
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the
obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They said I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are you callin' from?"
* * * * *
Paddy and Seamus were giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day.
After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt'n behind Seamus on the bike began to
holler, "Seamus... Seamus... the wind is cutt'n me chest out!"
"Well, Paddy my lad," said Seamus, "why don't you take your jacket off
and turn it from front to back... that'll block the wind for you."
So Paddy took Seamus' advice and turned his jacket around and got back
on the bike and the two of them were off down the road again.
After a bit, Seamus turned to talk to Paddy and was horrified to see that Paddy
was not there. Seamus immediately turned the bike around and retraced their
route. After a short time he came to a turn and saw a bunch of farmers standing
around Paddy who was sitting on the ground.
"T'anks be to heaven, is he alright?" Seamus hailed to the farmers.
"Well," explained one of the farmers, "he was alright when we found him here,
but since we turned his head back to front, he hasn't said a word since!"