Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Three Irish Jokes...

The Irishman and the Three Beers

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks
into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender
raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he
drinks quietly at a table, alone.

An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders
three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man
again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times.
Soon the entire town is whispering about The Man Who
Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on
behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here
are wondering why you always order three beers?"

"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two brothers,
and one went to America, and the other to Australia... We
promised each other that we would always order an extra two
beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."

The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer,
and soon The Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity
and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-
towners would come to watch him drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers.
The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for
the rest of the evening. He orders only two beers. The word
flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the

The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here,
me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of
your brother. You know - the two beers and all."

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, “You'll be happy
to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I,
meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."


A Night at the Pub

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a
bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks, "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds, "You don't say, I'm from Ireland
too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of Course!" replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks,
"Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man, "I'm from
Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks,
"What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man,
"I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to
Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits
down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he
asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender.
"The O'Malley twins are drunk again."


Death at the Brewery

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya'."

"Of course you can come in, you're always
welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"

"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There
was an accident down at the Guinness Brewery"

"Oh no!' cries Brenda, "Please don't tell me."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus
is dead and gone. I'm sorry."

Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a
vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my! But you must tell me true, Tim,
did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda, no. In fact, he got
out three times to pee."

Happy St. Patrick's Day!! Val =)

1 comment:

  1. Hello Val!!! I have not forgotten my promise to get those chopsticks to you! Today during some Spring cleaning, I found them! Would you please email me your snail mail address again and I will get them off to you right away! I am sooooo sorry it's taken this long! I simply didn't know where they were! If you still have my email...great, if not use this one...CW2sMom at AOL. Thanks and Blessings, Lisa


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