Three Short Jokes...

The Golfer

Fred comes home from his usual Saturday golf game.
"What a terrible day," he tells his wife. "Harry dropped
dead on the tenth tee."

"Oh , that's awful!" she says.

"You're not kidding," says Fred. "For the whole back nine,
it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit ball, drag Harry... "

* * * * * * * * * *

The Hikers

It's really humid in the woods, so the two hiking buddies remove
their shirts and shoes. But when they spot a sign saying
"Beware of Bears", one of them stops to put his shoes back on.

"What's the point?" the other says. "You can't outrun a bear."

"Actually," says his friend, "all I have to do is outrun you."

* * * * * * * * * *

God is Watching

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for
lunch. At the beginning of the line there was a large pile of
apples. A nun had written a note, "Take only one, God is watching."

At the end of the line there was a large stack of chocolate chip
cookies. A boy wrote a note and left it on the cookies that said,
"Take all you want, God is watching the apples."