Friday, July 11, 2008

Joke - You Could Be A Redneck If...

You Could Be A Redneck If...

*
You have more fingers than you do teeth.
*
You cut your grass and find a car.
*
You consider Denny's a fancy restaurant.
*
Your best suit contains more than 5 colors.
*
Your age is higher than your I.Q..
*
Your favorite pickup line is:
"Does this look infected to you?"

*
You ask your wife whether the spot
on your neck is a boil or a mole
and she replies, "It's a gummy bear."

*
You have a family reunion and
everyone in town shows up.

*
You say, "Watch this!" prior
to each hospital visit.

*
Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.
*
You can entertain yourself for more than
an hour with a fly swatter.

*
You've ever been pumping gas and another
customer asks you to check his oil.

*
You think the Bud Bowl is real.
*
Your dog goes "oink!"

*
You think the Nutcracker is something
you did off the high dive.

*
Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.
*
You know how to milk a goat.
*
Your kids have three-day
old Kool-Aid mustaches.

*
Your TV gets 512 channels, but you
go outside to use the bathroom.

*
Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.
*
You have a refrigerator just for beer.
*
You come back from the dump
with more than you took.

*
Your wife owns a camouflage nightie.
*
You've ever worn cowboy boots
with Bermuda shorts.

*
You don't think baseball players
spit and scratch too much.

*
You think the Styrofoam cooler is the
greatest invention of all time.

4 comments:

  1. Ha! Always funny!

    Beth

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think these are always so funny/cute to read; thanks Val

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those are fantastic.....
    Thank you for the chuckles....

    ReplyDelete
  4.      I enjoyed this.
    Jude
    http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

    ReplyDelete

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