Thursday, July 31, 2008

25 Lines to Make You Smile...

25 Lines To Make You Smile

1.
My husband and I divorced over
religious differences. He thought
he was God and I didn't.


2.
I don't suffer from insanity;
I enjoy every minute of it.


3.
I used to have a handle
on life, but it broke.


4.
Don't take life too seriously;
No one gets out alive.


5.
You're just jealous because
the voices only talk to me.


6.
Earth is the insane asylum
for the universe.


7.
I'm not a complete idiot --
Some parts are just missing.


8.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.


9.
NyQuil: the stuffy-head, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room-
spinning medicine.


10.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.


11.
Consciousness: That annoying
time between naps.


12.
Ever stop to think, and
forget to start again?


13.
Wrinkled was not one of the things
I wanted to be when I grew up.


14.
Procrastinate Now!


15.
I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts;
Do you want fries with that?


16.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.


17.
A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a cash advance.


18.
Stupidity is not a handicap.
Park elsewhere!


19.
He who dies with the most toys
is nonetheless DEAD.


20.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it
uses up three thousand times the memory.


21.
Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken,
a lifetime commitment for a pig.


22.
The trouble with life is there's
no background music.


23.
The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Weston.


24.
I smile because I don't know
what the heck is going on.


25.
Of all the things I've lost,
I miss my mind the most.

1 comment:

  1. I liked these all! my favorites were #10 and #21

    enjoy the day, Val!

    betty

    ReplyDelete

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