You Might Be a Redneck...
...if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers."
...if you were just married and had nothing but empty Skoal cans strung from your bumper as you left the church.
...if the Bluebook value of your truck changes with the amount of gas you have in it.
...if you wife fills out her family reunion name tag, “Four for a Dollar.”
...if your gunrack has a gunrack.
...if your best china says "Cool Whip" on it.
...if your mother has ammo on her Christmas list.
...if your house has more miles on it than your car.
...if anyone in your family died right after saying, ''Hey, y'all watch this!''