Gentle Thoughts for Today
Birds of a feather flock together
and "go" on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle.
It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end
of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say
the right thing at the right time, but also to leave
unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose
weight, because by then your body and your
fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost
around the house is to buy a replacement .
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals
for forty (40) are 'XL'?
If you think there is good in everybody,
you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong,
you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name
is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take
time to look for it. For example I am sitting here
thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words
'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs'?
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop
lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me,
I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some
of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go
back to youth, think of Algebra.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder
and your hand over my mouth!