Joke - You Could Be A Redneck If...

You Could Be A Redneck If...

* You have more fingers than you do teeth.
* You cut your grass and find a car.
* You consider Denny's a fancy restaurant.
* Your best suit contains more than 5 colors.
* Your age is higher than your I.Q..
* Your favorite pickup line is:
"Does this look infected to you?"
* You ask your wife whether the spot
on your neck is a boil or a mole
and she replies, "It's a gummy bear."
* You have a family reunion and
everyone in town shows up.
* You say, "Watch this!" prior
to each hospital visit.
* Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.
* You can entertain yourself for more than
an hour with a fly swatter.
* You've ever been pumping gas and another
customer asks you to check his oil.
* You think the Bud Bowl is real.
* Your dog goes "oink!"
* You think the Nutcracker is something
you did off the high dive.
* Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.
* You know how to milk a goat.
* Your kids have three-day
old Kool-Aid mustaches.
* Your TV gets 512 channels, but you
go outside to use the bathroom.
* Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.
* You have a refrigerator just for beer.
* You come back from the dump
with more than you took.
* Your wife owns a camouflage nightie.
* You've ever worn cowboy boots
with Bermuda shorts.
* You don't think baseball players
spit and scratch too much.
* You think the Styrofoam cooler is the
greatest invention of all time.