Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman
I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister,
and now wish to withdraw that statement."
- Mark Twain
~
"Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean
they're not out to get you."
- Colin Sautar
~
"Life's tough... It's even tougher if you're stupid."
- John Wayne
~
"Oh what a tangled web we weave when
first we practice to weave."
- Mignon McLaughlin
~
"Sometimes I wonder if men and women
really suit each other. Perhaps they should live
next-door and just visit now and then."
- Katharine Hepburn
~
"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will
be sober and you will still be ugly."
- Winston Churchill
~
"Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing
the matter with this, except that it ain't so."
- Mark Twain
~
"The reports of my death were greatly exaggerated."
- Mark Twain
~
"I never loved another person the way I loved myself."
- Mae West
~
"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"
- Lily Tomlin
~
"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on
a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then
I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.
Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
~
"To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
When you're wrong, admit it,
When you're right, shut up."
- Ogden Nash