The Mousetrap...

I hope everyone is having a good weekend! I wanted to thank the
person who nominated me for the BOTDA (Blog of the Day Award)
I received last week. That was very nice! I am very humbled.
If you want to nominate a favorite blog of yours, visit
the site and let them know who you love to read!

Here is a nice, little story. I do not know who the author is.
I hope you enjoy the message as much as I did. Have a
good weekend! Val =)


The Mousetrap

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see
the farmer and his wife open a package.

"What food might this package contain?" the mouse wondered.

He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.



Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning, "There
is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!'

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said,
"Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is
of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."





The mouse turned to the pig and yelled him, "There is a mousetrap
in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The pig sympathized, but said, "'I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse. There is
nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mousetrap
in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"



The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but
it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected,
to face the farmer's mousetrap... alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house - like the sound
of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what
was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake
whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife.

The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a
fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the
farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.



His wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with
her around the clock. To feed them the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well. She died. So many people came
for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide
enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon all of this from the crack in
his wall with great sadness.

So the next time you hear someone is facing a problem
and think it doesn't concern you, remember -

When one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

We are all in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for
one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

- Author Unknown -

Joke - The Silent Ride

The Silent Ride

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated
by the airplane rides, but he balked at the $30 tickets.

"Let's make a deal," said the pilot. "If you and your wife can ride
without making a single sound, I won't charge you a thing.
Otherwise, you pay the thirty dollars."

"Good deal!" said the farmer.

So they went for the ride. When they got back the pilot said,
"If I hadn't been there, I never would have believed it.
You never made a sound!"

"It wasn't easy either," said the farmer, "I almost yelled when
my wife fell out."

Joke - How Many Dogs?...

How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead
of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I?
Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check
to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see
that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or 'We don't need no stinking light bulb.'

Greyhound/Saluki: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Heeler/Australian Cattle Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he
finishes re-wiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Simplicity Quotes...

Simplicity Quotes

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
- Leonardo da Vinci
~
"Manifest plainness; Embrace simplicity;
Reduce selfishness; Have few desires."
- Lao Tzu
~
"Most of the critical things in life, which become the
starting point for human destiny, are little things."
- R. Smith
~
"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the
unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."
- Hans Hofmann
~
"Simplicity is the nature of great souls."
- Albert Einstein
~
"I adore simple pleasures. They are
the last refuge of the complex."
- Oscar Wilde
~
"If one's life is simple, contentment has to come.
Simplicity is extremely important for happiness.
Having few desires, feeling satisfied with what you have,
is very vital: satisfaction with just enough food, clothing,
and shelter to protect yourself from the elements."
- Dalai Lama
~
"Everything should be made as simple
as possible, but not simpler."
- Albert Einstein
~
"Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say let your
affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or
a thousand instead of a million count half a dozen,
and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail."
- Henry David Thoreau
~
"To find the universal elements enough;
to find the air and water exhilarating; to be refreshed
by a morning walk or an evening saunter... to be thrilled by
the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower
in the spring - these are some of the rewards of the simple life."
- John Burroughs
~
"Who is rich? He who rejoices in his portion."
- The Talmud
~
"Material blessings, when they pay beyond the category
of need, are weirdly fruitful of headache."
- Philip Wylie
~
"Live simply that others may simply live."
- Elizabeth Seaton

A Funny - Classified Ads Blunders...

Classified Ads Blunders

Here are real classified ads that didn't quite work!

1. Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

2. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

3. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and
get an extra pair to take home, too.

4. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

5. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle
spray will make it really repellent.

6. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

7. Dog for sale: eats anything and is especially fond of children.

8. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

9. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge.
Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

10. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

11. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
Automatically burns toast.

12. Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable
that lots of women wear nothing else.

13. Stock up and save. Limit: one.

14. For Sale -Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.

15. Man, honest. Will take anything.

16. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery.
Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

17. Illiterate? Write today for free help.

18. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

19. 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

20. Our bikinis are exciting. T hey are simply the tops.

21. Sign in a cosmetician's shop window: Complete skin,
nail, and hair removal service.

Quotes on Generosity...

Quotes on Generosity

"Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into
your lap a good measure - pressed down, shaken together,
and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be
measured to you in return."
- Luke 6:38, NLT
<><
"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable
ways it can change someone else's life forever."
- Margaret Cho
~
"She gives most who gives with joy."
- Mother Teresa
~
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one."
- Mother Teresa
~
"Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting,
but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is
a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a
few drops on yourself."
- Og Mandino
~
"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us;
what we have done for others and the world remains
and is immortal."
- Albert Pike
~
"You have not lived today until you have done something
for someone who can never repay you."
- John Bunyon
~
"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared."
- Buddha
~
"The best way to find yourself is to lose
yourself in the service of others."
- Ghandi
~
"I expect to pass through this world but once;
any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness
that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now;
let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass
this way again."
- Etienne de Grellet
~
"Real generosity is doing something nice for
someone who will never find out."
- Frank A. Clark
~
"Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as you ever can."
- John Wesley

Do you have a favorite?

Jokes - Walk Into a Bar...

Walk Into a Bar...

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head.
The bartender looks up and says, "Where did you get that ape?"
The guy says, "This isn't an ape, it's a duck."
The bartender says, "I was talking to the DUCK."

-------------------------------

A dog walked into a bar and asked for a beer.
A man sitting at the bar said he didn't want to drink at the bar with a dog.
The dog and the man got into a fight and the man shot the dog in the foot.
The dog yelped out of the bar and down the street.

A week later, the same dog walked into the same bar.
This time he was wearing a black hat, a black vest, black chaps, black boots,
a black gun belt with a pair of black colt .45's one on either side, and a black
bandage around his sore foot. He went up to the bar and said to the bartender,
"I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."

-------------------------------

A guy walked into a bar and ordered two drinks.
"How about a double instead?" asked the bartender.
"No. I'm drinking with my friend from Denver."

So the bartender gives him the two drinks. He drinks them by alternately
sipping from each glass. This goes on for a few months. A couple of times
a week he comes into the bar to drink with his friend from Denver.

One day he comes in and orders only one drink.
"Did your friend from Denver die?" asked the bartender.
"No. My doctor told me to stop drinking."

-------------------------------

Bacon and Eggs walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."

-------------------------------

Two cannibals walk into a bar and sits beside a clown. The first cannibal
conks the clown over the head and they both start eating him.
Suddenly the second cannibal looks up and says, "Hey, do you taste
something funny?"

-------------------------------

A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you."
"Why not?" asks the snake.
The bartender says, "Because you can't hold your liquor."

Joke - Cowboy Boots

Cowboy Boots

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one
of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked her for help and she could see why...

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still
didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second
boot on, the teacher had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said,
"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting
them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked
to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots!"

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and
scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.

Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting
boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the
boots off when he said...

"They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry,
but, she mustered up what grace and courage she
had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked,
"Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

Short, Funny Quotes...

Short, Funny Quotes

"People who say they sleep like a baby
usually don't have one."
- Leo J. Burke
~
"I am fond of children - except boys."
- Lewis Carroll
~
"When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick."
- George Burns
~
"I can resist everything except temptation."
- Oscar Wilde
~
"We could certainly slow the ageing process down if it
had to work its way through Congress."
- Will Rogers
~
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately
it kills all its pupils."
- Louis Hector Berlioz
~
"Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring
you a more pleasant form of misery."
- Spike Milligan
~
"No, I don't have a solution, but I certainly
admire the problem."
- Ashleigh Brilliant
~
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll
just have to be a horrible warning."
- Catherine Aird
~
"Committee - a group of men who keep
minutes and waste hours."
- Milton Berle
~
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound
they make as they fly by."
- Douglas Adam
~
"If I were invited to a dinner party with
my characters, I wouldn’t show up."
- Dr Seuss

Eat That Frog...

Click link below to view great
little movie to inspire...


Eat That Frog


Have a super day! Val =)

Helen Keller quotes...

Helen Keller Quotes

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through
experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired, and success achieved.”


"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."


"To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more
welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug."


"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty
to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."


"We may have found a cure for most evils; but we have found no
remedy for the worst of them all, the apathy of human beings."


"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."


"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world."


"True happiness... is not attained through self-gratification,
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."


"All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming."


"Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and
your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties."


"Never bend your head. Always hold it high.
Look the world straight in the eye."


"What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me."


"Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light."


"One can never consent to creep when
one feels an impulse to soar."

Funny Quotes by Famous Celebrities...

Funny Quotes by Famous Celebrities

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
- W. C. Fields
~
"When I was young I was called a rugged individualist.
When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric.
Here I am doing and saying the same things I did
then and I'm labeled senile."
- George Burns
~
"If your parents never had children,
chances are you won't either."
- Dick Cavett
~
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you
walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
- Sue Murphy
~
"When a man steals your wife there is no
better revenge than to let him keep her."
- Sacha Guitry
~
"Why don't they make the whole plane
out of that black box stuff."
- Steven Wright
~
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my
work, I want to achieve it through not dying."
- Woody Allen
~
"It's not enough to succeed. Others must fail."
- Gore Vidal
~
"A bore is a man who, when you
ask him how he is, tells you."
- B. L. Taylor
~
"You cannot have everything. I mean,
where would you put it?"
- Steven Wright
~
"Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!"
- Groucho Marx
~

Do you have a favorite one?

A Funny - Why Can't We Feed the Bears?

Why Can't We Feed The Bears?

The following views are actually suggestions and comments that have
been received by the National Forest Service from visitors to our
Nation's parks...

- "Need more signs to keep the park pristine."
- "Escalators would help on steep uphill areas of the hiking trails."
- "More families would enjoy the parks and city children could
learn more about nature if the Parks Department would provide
services that include arcades, water slides and child care."
- "A big hotel with a golf course and even a convention center
would attract more people to this natural beauty."
- "Instead of a permit system or fees, the Forest Service needs to
reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of
visitors to the wilderness."
- "Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."
- "All the mile markers are missing this year."
- "We found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse."
- "Many trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building
ones that go uphill."
- "Too many bugs and leeches and spider webs. Please spray
wilderness areas to rid them of these pests."
- "Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in
the winter."
- "Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to the
wonderful views without having to hike to them."
- "The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake.
Please eradicate these annoying animals."
- "It would be nice to have the Kodak scenic markers so we could
identify the photographic sites."
- "I like all the trees but you need to plant some flowers. Flower
gardens would be so pretty in the forest."
- "The giant trees are spectacular but there are too many of the
same kind; you should plant different types, for variety."
- "Reflectors need to be placed on the trees every 50 feet so people
could hike at night with flashlights."
- "You should have a petting zoo here so that the children could
touch the squirrels, deer and bears."
- "I was stung by a bee; you should have warning signs."
- "A McDonald's would be a nice sight at the trailhead."
- "The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."
- "Too many rocks on the mountains."
- "A deer came into my camp and stole my bag of chips.
Is there away I can get reimbursed: Please call... "

Quotes and a Verse on Life and Living...

Quotes and a Verse on Life and Living

"Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.
He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us,
a pleasing aroma to God."
- Ephesians 5:2
<><
"Life is a promise; fulfill it."
- Mother Teresa
~
"Life is a succession of lessons, which
must be lived to be understood."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
~
"Life is a great big canvas, and you should
throw all the paint you can on it."
- Danny Kaye
~
"The purpose of life is a life of purpose."
- Robert Byrne
~
"You have lived well if something of your influence
survives to inspire others to live well."
- Ralph Lee Goodman
~
"Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life
is your gift to those who come after."
- Author Unknown
~
"Nothing should be prized more highly
than the value of each day."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
~
"Life loves to be taken by the lapel and
told: 'I'm with you kid. Let's go.'"
– Maya Angelou
~
"Today, let's give thanks for life. For life
itself. For simply being born!"
- Daphne Rose Kingma
~
"Life [is] a culmination of the past, an awareness of
the present, an indication of a future beyond knowledge,
the quality that gives a touch of divinity."
- Charles A. Lindbergh
~
"I hope that my achievements in life shall be these -
that I will have fought for what was right and fair,
that I will have risked for that which mattered and
that I will have given help to those who were in need,
that I will have left the earth a better place for
what I've done and who I've been."
- C. Hoppe
~
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
- Helen Keller

Love and Romance Quotes...

Love and Romance Quotes

"Love does not consist of gazing at each other,
but looking outward in the same direction."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
~
"Your slightest look easily will unclose me, though I have
closed myself as fingers, you open always petal by petal myself,
as Spring opens (touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose."
- E. E. Cummings
~
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."
- Albert Einstein
~
"Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone -
but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding."
- Bette Davis
~
"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel
that they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labour,
to minister to each other in all sorrow, to share with each other in all
gladness, to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories?"
- George Eliot
~
"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and
persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and
unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created
for years or even generations."
- Nikki Giovanni
~
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
~
"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.'
- Rose Franken
~
"Spoil your husband, but don't spoil your children."
- Louise Seier Giddings Currey
~
"No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying."
- Author Unknown
~
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life.
That word is Love."
- Socrates
~
"I have been astonished that men could
die martyrs for their religion -
I have shudder'd at it.
I shudder no more.
I could be martyr'd for my religion
Love is my religion
And I could die for that.
I could die for you."
- John Keats

dedicated to J. B.

more jokes for Valentine's Day...

Inept Romantic Sentiments

The Washington Post asked readers to come up with
inept romantic sentiments for Valentine’s Day.
Here are some of the best:

1. Your kisses are sweeter than wine,
but without the paper bag.

2. I am irrationally exuberant for you in the third
quarter of my fiscal life, with rising indicators.

3. My love for you runs hotter than a ‘74 Nova with
a V-8 engine and a busted water pump.

4. Darling, you make me as hot as those
hand dryers in a turnpike restroom.

5. If we were cockroaches, I’d want to have
all 456,845 of your children.



A Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought
his wife anything for Valentine's Day.

"Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of
a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag."

"That was very kind of you," Jim added,
"I hope she appreciated the thought."

Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully
the vacuum cleaner will work better now."

Jokes for Valentine's Day...

1,000 Valentine Cards


A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing
at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with
hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent
all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him
what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed,
'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.



Love is Blind?

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into
this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes.
Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice,
"I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition."

The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,
"What's your condition?"

Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words."

There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money
and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into
his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."

Joke - Nine Words Women Use

Nine Words Women Use

1. "Fine": This is the word a woman uses to end an
argument when she is right and you need to
shut up.

2. "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means
half an hour. "Five minutes" is only five minutes if you
just have been given five more minutes to watch the
game before helping around the house.

3. "Nothing": This is the calm before the storm. This
means something, and you should be on your
toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing"
usually end in "Fine".

4. "Go Ahead": This is a dare, not permission.
Don't do it!

5. Loud Sigh: This is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she
thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is
wasting her time standing there arguing with you
about nothing.

6. "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous
statements a woman can make to a man. "That's
Okay" means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for
your mistake.

7. "Thanks": If a woman is thanking you, do not question
or faint. Just say "You're welcome". (Note - This is
true unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is pure
sarcasm. She is not thanking you at all. Do not
say "You're welcome". It will bring on
a "Whatever".

8. "Whatever": This is a woman's way of telling you off.

9. "Don't worry about it, I got it": Another dangerous
statement. This means a woman has told a man
to do something several times and is now doing
it herself. This will later result in a man asking,
"What's wrong?". For a woman's response refer
to #3.

Thanks for this Sharon =)

Funny Love Quotes for Valentine's Day....

Funny Love Quotes for Valentine's Day

"Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up
the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots."
- Hoosier Farmer

"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked."
- Erich Segal

"A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility
that the other may be right, though neither believes it."
- Don Fraser

"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart
filling up as the brain empties."
- Jules Renard

"I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the
washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves
from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful
things you can do to have a marriage such as mine."
- Author Unknown

"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell
my children that, they just about throw up."
- Barbara Bush

"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single
wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead."
- Ann Landers

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find
a woman I don't like and give her a house."
- Groucho Marx

"Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love."
- Yiddish proverb

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love.
But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer,
not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love.
To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy.
Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer
from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
- Woody Allen, Love and Death

"Ah me! Love can not be cured by herbs."
- Ovid

"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania."
- Dorothy Parker