Joke - Differences in Mean and Women...

Differences in Men and Women

Nicknames

* If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other

Laura, Kate and Sarah.

* If Make, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to

each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, and Slugger.

Eating Out

* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave, and John will each throw in $20,

even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything

smaller and none will actually admit they want any change back.

* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money

* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but is on sale.

Bathrooms

* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving

cream, razor, bar of soap, and a towel.

* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.

A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

Arguments

* A woman has the last word in any argument.

* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Future

* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Success

* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Marriage

* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

* A man marries a woman expecting the she won't change, bus she does.

Dressing Up

* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,

answer the phone, read a book and get the mail.

* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural

* Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.

* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Offspring

* A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dental

appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret

fears and hopes and dreams.

* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.