Wednesday, February 9, 2011

More Valentine's Day Jokes...




In case you get a big box of chocolate on Valentine's Day,
don't feel guilty, dig in!:


Eat Chocolate?

A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy
two servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I
consume about 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week. This
equals one pound of weight per week.

Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate
caloric intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165
pounds.

So, without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing
about three months ago! I owe my life to chocolate!


How Long?

When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became
engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice.

"The first ten years are the hardest."

"How long have you been married?" she asked.

"Ten years," he replied.


Relatives

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying
a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither
of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband
asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


Bad Date

Girls, you know you're on a bad date when:

* You order a Double Whopper and he says, "Hey, my name
ain't Rockefeller, honey."
* You've never heard someone speak with such passion about
an ant farm.
* Your dinner reservations are under "Loser, party of 2".
* He's especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.
* He calls to tell you he'll pick you up as soon as the stand-
off with the police is over.
* He says he's been on Geraldo once and
Jerry Springer twice.


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