More Valentine's Day Jokes...

In case you get a big box of chocolate on Valentine's Day,

don't feel guilty, dig in!:

Eat Chocolate?

A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy

two servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I

consume about 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week. This

equals one pound of weight per week.

Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate

caloric intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165

pounds.

So, without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing

about three months ago! I owe my life to chocolate!

How Long?

When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became

engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice.

"The first ten years are the hardest."

"How long have you been married?" she asked.

"Ten years," he replied.

Relatives

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying

a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither

of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband

asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Bad Date

Girls, you know you're on a bad date when:

* You order a Double Whopper and he says, "Hey, my name

ain't Rockefeller, honey."

* You've never heard someone speak with such passion about

an ant farm.

* Your dinner reservations are under "Loser, party of 2".

* He's especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.

* He calls to tell you he'll pick you up as soon as the stand-

off with the police is over.

* He says he's been on Geraldo once and
Jerry Springer twice.