Actual, Funny Bumper Stickers...

Funny Bumper Stickers

These are actual bumper stickers found on cars:

* Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

* Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

* I have an IQ in the top 2%. Who cares about

the other 95%?.

* Egrets? I've had a few.

* I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.

* I'm so far behind, I thought I was first.

* I'm 33 1/3 RPM in an iPod world.

* Apathy: I could take it or leave it.

* Better half a slogan...

* You probably don't recognize me without the cape.

* My dog is smarter than your honor student.

* National Spellling Bee Runer-Up

* The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

* Dyslexics Untie!

* Be alert. The world needs more lerts.

* Never believe generalizations.

* Avoid alliterations always.

* National Sarcasm Society. (Like we need

your support.)

* What would Scooby do?

* I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.

* I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on

the Juneflower.

* If there is no God, who always pops up

that next Kleenex?

* The trouble with life is there's no background music.

* If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.

* Illiterate? Write for help.

* Honk if anything falls off.

* I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.

* If you can read this, please flip me back

over. (Seen upside-down on a jeep.)

* If walking is so good for you, then why does

my mailman look like Jabba The Hut?

* Boldly going nowhere.

* Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap

is cheap. You choose.

* Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

* If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

* IRS: Be Audit You Can Be

* What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it's all about?