Other Ways To Use The Thanksgiving Turkey
* As a blunt object to fend off your pesky cousins.
* As a hood ornament.
* As a disguise so your ugly Aunt Beatrice can't kiss you
and say, "My how you've grown!"
* As a football for the after-meal game.
* One word... bowling!
* As yet another object to drop from the top of the dorm
to test the range of the splatter upon impact.
* As a Christmas gift (avoid the holiday crowds this way!).
* As a doorstop to keep your relatives out.
* Makes a great doggie chew toy.
* Fill it with whipped cream - watch the fun.
* Bury it in the yard for future midnight snacks.
* If you're flying home, take the carcass as a carry-on and
see what it looks like in the X-ray machine.
* Better yet, put it in a pet carrier and ask the
flight attendant for some chicken feed.
* Wear as a helmet, declaring, "I'm TURKEYMAN!"
* Before serving, paste feathers on the poor, naked creature.
* Place a speaker inside the bird, and from another room,
amaze your guests with the talking fowl.
* Throw the turkey out the window yelling,
"You're FREE! Fly! FLY!"
* Two words: turkey puppet.
* Attach to a fishing pole, slowly drive around the neighborhood
in the back of a pickup and see how many dogs follow you.
* From a concealed location, toss in front of a passing car.
When they stop, run out screaming that they hit your dog!
* As in an old murder mystery, question all the dinner guests
in an attempt to discover who killed the guest of honor.