Fun and Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
"Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast,
the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes
a patriotic duty."
- Michael Dresser
"On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down
to dinner at the same moment - halftime."
- Author Unknown
"You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner
there was one wise, old Native American woman saying,
'Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.'"
- Dylan Brody
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way.
I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house.
We had an enormous feast and then I killed them
and took their land."
- Jon Stewart
"Happy We-Stole-Your-Land-and-Killed-Your-People Day!"
- A Thanksgiving Toast, from the movie 'Sweet November'
"Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten
on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar
property of attesting piety and gratitude."
- Ambrose Bierce
"The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal,
is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping
and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20
minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a
food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up."
- Ted Allen
"You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when
you have to let your bathrobe out."
- Jay Leno
"I come from a family where gravy is considered
- Erma Bombeck
"Thanksgiving tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil
and throw them out."
- Nicole Hollander