Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Funny - Epitaphs...


These are actual epitaphs on tombstones:

Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
Of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

Anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.

In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"

Margaret Daniels grave, Hollywood Cemetery,
Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

Anna Hopewell's grave, Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Harry Edsel Smith, Albany, New York:
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.

Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist.
All dressed up
And no place to go.

Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas:
Office upstairs


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