Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman

I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister

and now wish to withdraw that statement."

- Mark Twain

"What would men be without women?

Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."

- Mark Twain

"I am at two with nature."

- Woody Allen

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the

things that make you want to live to be a hundred."

- Woody Allen

"Eternity is really long - especially near the end."

- Woody Allen

"His mother should have thrown him away

and kept the stork."

- Mae West

"He who hesitates is last."

- Mae West

"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of

Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."

- Mark Russell

"Eagles may soar high,

but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

- John Benfield

"I love mankind. It's people I can't stand."

- Charles M. Schulz