Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"I was so surprised at being born that I didn't speak
for a year and a half."
- Gracie Allen
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"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me.
He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
- Rodney Dangerfield
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"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch
with your children."
- J. Paul Getty
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"Income tax has made more liars out of the
American people than golf."
- Will Rogers
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"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
- Harry S. Truman
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"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees,
then names the streets after them."
- Bill Vaughan
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"One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule,
and on every side of a fool."
- Edgar Watson Howe
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"I gave my cat a bath the other day... they love it.
He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me.
The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that... "
- Steve Martin
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"I took a test in Existentialism.
I left all the answers blank and got 100."
- Woody Allen
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"Middle age is when your age starts to show
around your middle."
- Bob Hope
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"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
- Whitney Brown
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"I got a lotta best friends.
Some o' them I don't even hardly know!"
- Archie Bunker, All In The Family
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"Fill what's empty, empty what's full,
and scratch where it itches."
- Wallis Warfield Simpson, Duchess of Windsor,
when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life