Fun and Funny Quotes for Father's Day...

Fun and Funny Quotes for Father's Day

"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated,
let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any
fathering situation, he has a fifty-percent chance of being right."
- Bill Cosby
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"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most
is "soap-on-a-rope."
- Bill Cosby
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"I'm so ugly, my father carries around a picture of the kid who
came with his wallet."
- Rodney Dangerfield
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“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.”
- Author Unknown
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"A father is a banker provided by nature."
- A French Proverb
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"Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents."
- Margaret Mead
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"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder,
and violence every single day should be avoided entirely,
but the desire to beget children is a natural urge."
- Phyllis Diller
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"When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon,
'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered,
'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'"
- Jerry Lewis
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"When Charles first saw our child Mary,
he said all the proper things for a new father.
He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted,
'She's more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge.'"
- Helen Hayes
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"Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you
at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby
on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up
home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain,
you gotta call the game and start all over again."
- Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby
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"Every mother generally hopes that her daughter
will snag a better husband than she managed to do...
but she's certain that her boy will never get as great
a wife as his father did."
- Author Unknown
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"A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to
look like his father."
- Gabriel Garcia Márquez