Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Humorous Quotes...

Humorous Quotes

"I used to have Mad Cow's disease,
but I'm alright Nooooooooow."

- Billy Connolly

"Every fight is a food fight
when you're a cannibal."

- Demetri Martin

"My mom was a ventriloquist and she always
was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought
the dog was telling me to kill my father."

- Wendy Leibman

"I ain't saying the customer service in my bank
is bad, but when I went in the other day
and asked the clerk to check my balance...
she leaned over and pushed me."

- author unknown

"When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an
operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays."

- Henny Youngman

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile
in his shoes. After that, who cares?...
He's a mile away and you've got his shoes."

- Billy Connolly

3 comments:

  1. Lol Val, loved them.  Still not sure alerts are working properly.  I am getting them in but a couple have told me they did not get an alert for my posting last night.  Can you please let me know if you did?

    http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

    ReplyDelete
  2. these were so funny! I like them because they are clean too; so you can send them to others and not worry about offending people, know what I mean?

    thanks Val :)
    betty

    ReplyDelete
  3.     Good advise.
    Jude
    http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

    ReplyDelete

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