Saturday, August 23, 2008

Funny Labels...

Don't Use While Sleeping

Some examples of why the human race has
probably evolved as far as possible:

Actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dove soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:

Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on box bottom):
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(And whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a Japanese food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmm, now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(have lobotomy)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?
Did someone try todo that?)

On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)


  1. LOL, I've seen these before and they always bring a laugh; the thing is sometimes they put "dumb" labels on like this because people actually did the things they now warn against by the label; it was like my husband said a story he heard a few years ago that a driver put his RV into auto drive and then got up to make something to eat; not realizing he needed to stay there to steer the vehicle; of course he crashed; now there's a warning to make sure you stay seated while driving; too funny!!

    enjoy the day!


  2. LOL, I especially love the commentary! I've actually seen the hair dryer one, and I've always remembered that.


  3. The funny thing about them is someone has probably tried what they are instructed not to do.   I was in a laundromat and there was a large sign
    DO NOT WASH HORSE BLANKETS IN THE WASHERS.     So, being the curious person I am I asked about it.   A person did indeed wash horse blankets in their washers.   The horse hair clogged two machines and they had to get two of them repaired.


  4. These are hilarious.  HILARIOUS!  John is still laughing!  "But I waaant to put my head in my sister's shower cap with her!  We always shower together!," said Lucy.  "It will save us more money if we just buy one!"  Now if I could just find out what that other use is for that Japanese blender...

    Krissy :)

  5.     Funny!


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