Funny Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
"I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle
fought for the West."
"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."
"My old man, I told him I'm tired of running around in circles.
So he nailed my other foot to the floor."
"I came from a real tough neighborhood.
I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it."
"Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was.
She said, 'No, but I did get the license number.'"
"I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck."
"I found there was only one way to look thin.
Hang out with fat people."
"I went to see my doctor. 'Doctor, every morning when I get up and
look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?'
He said, 'I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.'"
"Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide.'
He told me from now on I have to pay in advance."
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion.
He said, 'Okay, you're ugly too.'"
For another small dose of Rodney Dangerfield
click on link below:
Rodney Dangerfield in Joy in the Rain