A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over
for speeding and this drama unfolds:
Elderly Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Elderly Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license, please?
Elderly Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Elderly Woman: I lost it - four years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
Elderly Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Elderly Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Elderly Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Elderly Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk
if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away
to his car and calls for back-up.
Within minutes, five police cars circle the elderly lady's car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please?!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Elderly Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen
this car and murdered the owner.
Elderly Woman: Murdered the owner?!
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing that it's empty.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Elderly Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claim that you do not
have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse containing
her license and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license.
He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you, ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't
have a license, you stole this car, and you
murdered and hacked up the owner.
Elderly Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
* Thanks, Donna!