You Might be a Redneck If...
* On stag night, you take a real deer.
* You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.
* Your back porch is bigger than your house.
* There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
* You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
* A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your
* An expired license plate means another decoration
for your living room wall.
* You think 'Old Yeller' is a movie about your brother’s tooth.
* You watch 'Little House on the Prairie' for decorating tips.
* Your secret family recipe is illegal.
* You've ever used a bathtub as a punch bowl.
* You broke a toe when you dropped your belt buckle on it.
* You've ever worn flip-flops to a funeral home.
* You have visitation rights to a dog.
* Your voice changed while you were in the second grade.
* Your wedding invitations say "Same time, same place".
* You list dogs as dependants on your tax forms.
* Your taxidermist also does your taxes.
* You love lard sandwiches.
* You've ever let your dog babysit your kids.
* Your security system is the latch on your screen door.
* Most of your prayers involve winning a sporting event.
* You've ever caught bugs just so you could throw them at
your bug zapper.
* Your financial planner told you to buy lottery tickets.
* There are more things growing in your refrigerator than in
* Your favorite restaurant has sawdust on the floor.
* You've ever left a bingo game in handcuffs.
* You've ever put a race car on a prayer list.
* You've ever had a dream about beef jerky.
* You've used a barstool as a walker.
* You flush the toilet and the dog thinks you're giving him
* You think your dashboard is the best pace to keep
* You're driving a vehicle that has no original body parts.
* Your favorite recipe includes Vienna Sausages.
Which one made you laugh the hardest? Can you add any?