Fun and Funny Quotes
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color,
but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
- Jerry Seinfeld
"The best thing is to look natural,
but it takes makeup to look natural."
- Calvin Klein
"The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors
agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot."
- Jay Leno
"If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children
alternately, there would never be more than three in a family."
- Lawrence Housman
"You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that
you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from
her at that moment."
- Dave Barry
"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody.
Now I see that I should have been more specific."
- Jane Wagner
"My mom said I was going to be a wit one day. She was half right."
- R. E. W.
"Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut
you used to get for five dollars when you had hair."
- Sam Ewing
"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person
you meet reminds you of someone else."
- Ogden Nash
"The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything;
the young know everything."
- Oscar Wilde
"If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening,
be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear."
- A. A. Milne, Winnie The Pooh