Puns
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in their craft it
sank - proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
******
Q: What time is it when it is time to go to the dentist?
A: Tooth hurty.
******
Q: Why did the golfer bring two pair of pants to the game?
A: In case he got a whole in one.
******
There was a man who entered the local newspaper's pun contest. He sent in ten
different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately,
no pun in ten did.
******
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams.
First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's
driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
******
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and
announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
******
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in
Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him
"Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her
husband responds, "But they are twins - if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
******
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an
impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather
frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him.... A super
callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in their craft it
sank - proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
******
Q: What time is it when it is time to go to the dentist?
A: Tooth hurty.
******
Q: Why did the golfer bring two pair of pants to the game?
A: In case he got a whole in one.
******
There was a man who entered the local newspaper's pun contest. He sent in ten
different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately,
no pun in ten did.
******
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams.
First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's
driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
******
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and
announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
******
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in
Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him
"Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her
husband responds, "But they are twins - if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
******
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an
impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather
frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him.... A super
callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Said the rebel leader in the Pyranees whose army was destroyed while trying to escape through a montain pass,"Don't put all of your Basques in one exit."
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