Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it."
- Stephen Wright
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"If a word in the dictionary were misspelled,
how would we know?"
- Stephen Wright
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"Every speaker has a mouth;
An arrangement rather neat.
Sometimes it's filled with wisdom.
Sometimes it's filled with feet."
- Robert Orben
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"Always borrow money from a pessimist,
he doesn't expect to be paid back."
- Author Unknown
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"Friends: people who borrow my books
and set wet glasses on them."
- Edwin Arlington Robinson
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"A friend never defends a husband who gets his
wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
- Erma Bombeck
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"The best way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once."
- E. Joseph Cossman
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"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have
a 50-50 chance of getting something right,
there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."
- Andy Rooney
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"Everything is funny as long as it is
happening to someone else."
- Will Rogers
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"A horse may be coaxed to drink,
but a pencil must be lead."
- Stan Laurel
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"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility,
there are so few of us left."
- Oscar Levant
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"Cheer up. The worst is yet to come."
- Mark Twain