Monday, August 10, 2009

Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes
about the traveling salesman."
- Carey Williams
"To be a successful father there's one absolute rule:
when you have a kid, don't look at it for two years."
- Ernest Hemingway
"If you keep making jokes like that,
somebody is going to shoot you, father."
- Mary Todd Lincoln
"Every person is responsible for his own looks after 40."
- Abraham Lincoln
"If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder."
- Pope John Paul I
"One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things
go and duct tape to make them stop."
- G. Weilacher
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you
is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
- George Carlin
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
- George Carlin
"A woman must have money and room of her own
if she is to write fiction."
- Virginia Woolf
"If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs,
was it a joke?"
- Stephen Wright
"A joke without a point, inane and bald,
itself a joke on joking may be called."
- Menander of Athens

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.
I want to achieve it through not dying."

- Woody Allen
"I am a zizzer zazzer zuzz as you can plainly see."
- Theodor Geisel, Dr. Seuss


  1. Good ones Val The farmers daughter is my favorite.

    By the way Menander was one of only five playwrights of ancient Greece whose works survived, some of them. He wrote comedies.

  2. I loved them all but as I wrote you that George Carlin one really hit home for me. Too funny, and very true.


Please leave a comment or Santa won't come to your house =):