Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule or the cook."
- Harry Oliver

"Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long
as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants."
- Walter Winchell

"The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen."
- Sarah Brown

"I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow."
- Billy Connolly

"Free advice is the kind that costs you nothing
unless you act upon it."
- Author Unknown

"A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one
takes the judge to lunch."
- Author Unknown

"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?'
Well, I was an accountant."
- Ellen DeGeneres

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when
she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we
don't know where the he** she is."
- Ellen DeGeneres

"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three
out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."
- David Letterman

"Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded."
- Yogi Berra

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"
- Lily Tomlin