Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road...

An oldie, but goodie =)...

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Sarah Palin
"The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it,
he's a maverick!"

Barack Obama
"The chicken crossed the road because it was time
for change! The chicken wanted change!"

John McCain
"My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue
with all the chickens on the other side of the road."

Hillary Clinton
"When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then,
this really isn't about me."

George W. Bush
"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here."

Dick Cheney
"Where's my gun?"

Colin Powell
"Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road."

Bill Clinton
"I did not cross the road with that chicken."

Al Gore
"I invented the chicken."

John Kerry
"Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road,
I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
and will remain against it."

Dr. Phil
"The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by
not taking on his current problems before adding new problems."

"Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so badly. So instead of
having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is
a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that
he can just drive across the road and not live his life like
the rest of the chickens."

Anderson Cooper, CNN
"We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road."

Nancy Grace
"That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty!
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks!"

Pat Buchanan
"To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American."

Martha Stewart
"No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market
to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information."

Dr. Seuss
"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told."

Ernest Hemingway
"To die in the rain, alone."

"In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough."

Barbara Walters
"Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went
on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road."

"It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."

John Lennon
"Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together, in peace."

Bill Gates
"I have just released eChicken2012, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2012.
This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot."

Albert Einstein
"Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?"

Colonel Sanders
"Did I miss one?"

* thanks for this, daddeeoo!


  1. DB: To get away from all the hen pecking.

  2. I love the one from "Bill Gates". LOL

    Hugs, Rose

  3. via email:

    Oh, Val, these are soooooooo funny. I can't stand it... I can't pick the funniest one, bc they are ALL so funny, LOL.

    krissy knox

    from Val to Krissy:

    I am so, so very sorry you are struggling with commenting. I know it has been months, maybe since the beginning of this blog that you haven't been able to comment. You aren't the only one. Do I move the blog? I am not posting to receive comments, and that is why I haven't moved it. Feel free to email comments to me again any time! I loved this joke, too, sis. I remember seeing it ages ago. Daddy sent it to me again. I had to post it as I never posted it before!! Wonder why?? LOL Thanks, honey!


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