Thursday, March 17, 2011

St. Patrick's Day Jokes...

Irish Jokes for St. Patrick's Day

Three guys - one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are
walking along the beach one day. They come across a lantern
and a genie pops out. "I will give you each one wish. That's
three wishes in in total," says the genie.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my dad's a fisherman,
his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one, too. I want all
the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

So, with a blink of the genie's eye, FOOM, the oceans were
teaming with fish!

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity."

Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, POOF, there was a huge
wall around England!

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about
this wall."

The genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high and 50 feet thick.
It protects England so nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."


A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman
stands up and says, "You're making out we're all dumb and stupid.
I oughtta punch you in the nose."

"I'm sorry sir, I... "

"Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little fella on
your knee."


Gallagher is in Boston and he is waiting patiently. He is also watching
the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.

The cop stops the flow of traffic and shouts, "Okay, pedestrians."
Then he allows the traffic to pass.

He did this several times, and Gallagher is still standing on
the sidewalk.

After the cop has shouted 'Pedestrians' for the tenth time,
Gallagher approaches him and says, "Is it not about time ye let
the Catholics across?"


"Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?" asked
President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

"Do we now?" came New York Mayor Al Smith's reply.


  1. I remember a joke about the school girl who said she wanted to be a prostitute when she grew up. The shocked nun takes her to the Principal's office and makes her repeat what she said. The Principal says to the nun "What's wrong with that?" The nun apologizes and says "I thought she said Protestant."

  2. I am still chuckling about Gallagher in Boston, I have a friend with the same name and he would actually say something just like that - and would probably have a few green beers under his belt at the time.

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