Funny Steven Wright Quotes
"How does the guy who drives the snowplough get
to work in the mornings?"
"If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make
TEFLON stick to the pan?"
"Why are there flotation devices under plane
seats instead of parachutes?"
"The hardness of the butter is proportional to the
softness of the bread."
"What was the best thing before sliced bread?"
"If Barbie is so popular,
why do you have to buy her friends?"
"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"
"I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms
from the statues that are in all the other museums."
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
"Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!"
"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."
"Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow."
I'm very familiar with using my shin to find things in the dark.
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