Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side,
and it holds the universe together."
- Carl Zwanzig
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"My doctor says that I have a malformed, public-duty gland
and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore
excused from saving Universes."
- Douglas Adams
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"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them,
you're a mile away and you have their shoes."
- Author Unknown
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"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the
universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
- Bill Watterson, 'Calvin and Hobbes'
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"All generalizations are bad."
- R .H. Grenier
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"Drawing on my fine command of the language,
I said nothing."
- Robert Benchley
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"Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean
they're not out to get you."
- Colin Sautar
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"Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off."
- Author Unknown
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"The chicken came first -
God would look silly sitting on an egg."
- Author Unknown
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"The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese."
- Author Unknown
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"Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know.
Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know
that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided
not to know about the things that I decided
not to know about. Amen."
- Douglas Adams, 'Mostly Harmless'
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"Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the
consequences of the above prayer."
- Douglas Adams, 'Mostly Harmless'