Fun and Funny Quotes
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line
up quietly in a single file line from the smallest to tallest.
What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"
- Warren Hutcherson
"My school was so tough the school newspaper
had an obituary section."
- Norm Crosby
Kid to his Dad as they watch TV:
"Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to
walk all the way across the room to change a channel."
- Author Unknown
"Seeing a murder on television can help work off
one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms,
the commercials will give you some."
- Alfred Hitchcock
"The only way to make your PC go faster
is to throw it out a window."
- Robert Paul
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
- Pablo Picasso
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science,
the one that heralds the most discoveries,
is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny... '"
- Isaac Asimov
"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me
than a full frontal lobotomy."
- Fred Allen
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child.
We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."
- Rita Rudner
"You know you're getting fat when you can pinch
an inch on your forehead."
- John Mendoza
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory
goes, and I can't remember the other two... "
- Sir Norman Wisdom
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx