* If something can go wrong, it will.
* If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure
can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for,
will promptly develop.
* If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
* Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
* Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
* The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the
fundamental solvency of the firm.
* The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly
proportional to the cost of the carpet.
* The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody
else to shoot at.
* When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed
at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the
two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at
* You never run out of things that can go wrong.
* All's well that ends.