Funny, True Stories From Across America
Thousands wrote in earlier this year to Reader's Digest and the
funniest true story (below) was chosen by readers. It is followed
by more funny, true stories.
Hard of Hearing
I knew that my husband's hearing had deteriorated after our friend,
new to the city, asked where he could meet some singles. "Well," said
my husband, "I see them in the K-Mart parking lot diving for fries."
"Dear," I intervened, "singles, not seagulls."
- submitted by Regen Rose
Running Out of Gas
When my father ran out of gas, he called my mother to pick him up in
her car. They went to a gas station, filled a gas can, and returned to
his car. After a few minutes, he got into her car again. "We need to
go back to the gas station," he said.
"One gallon wasn't enough?"
"It would have been if I'd put it in the right car."
- submitted by Kent T. Critchlow
In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for
Valentine's Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it into
school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch
eating the same box of candy.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews,
"And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."
- submitted by Kym Lokken
My sister is a know-it-all who bristles at anyone's well-intentioned
advice. But when our older sister gave her several clever tips she was
impressed. "I have to hand it to Pat," she told me. "She really is smart.
Not Jeopardy! smart, more Wheel of Fortune smart."
- submitted by Teresa Bruce
En route to church to make his First Confession, my nervous seven-
year-old grandson asked me what he could expect.
"Confession is where you tell all the bad things you've done to the
priest," I told him.
He looked relieved. "Good. I haven't done anything bad to the priest."
- submitted by Douglas Matook