Funny, True Stories...

Funny, True Stories From Across America

Thousands wrote in earlier this year to Reader's Digest and the

funniest true story (below) was chosen by readers. It is followed

by more funny, true stories.

Hard of Hearing

I knew that my husband's hearing had deteriorated after our friend,

new to the city, asked where he could meet some singles. "Well," said

my husband, "I see them in the K-Mart parking lot diving for fries."

"Dear," I intervened, "singles, not seagulls."

- submitted by Regen Rose

Running Out of Gas

When my father ran out of gas, he called my mother to pick him up in

her car. They went to a gas station, filled a gas can, and returned to

his car. After a few minutes, he got into her car again. "We need to

go back to the gas station," he said.

"One gallon wasn't enough?"

"It would have been if I'd put it in the right car."

- submitted by Kent T. Critchlow

Young Love

In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for

Valentine's Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it into

school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch

eating the same box of candy.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews,

"And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."

- submitted by Kym Lokken

Smart

My sister is a know-it-all who bristles at anyone's well-intentioned

advice. But when our older sister gave her several clever tips she was

impressed. "I have to hand it to Pat," she told me. "She really is smart.

Not Jeopardy! smart, more Wheel of Fortune smart."

- submitted by Teresa Bruce

First Confession

En route to church to make his First Confession, my nervous seven-

year-old grandson asked me what he could expect.

"Confession is where you tell all the bad things you've done to the

priest," I told him.

He looked relieved. "Good. I haven't done anything bad to the priest."

- submitted by Douglas Matook