Silly Puns...

Silly Puns

=) A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

=) A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

=) Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

=) Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a-salted.

=) What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

=) "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

=) The invisible man marries the invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.

=) I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

=) I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

=) He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the
Mercedes bends.

=) Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

=) A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

=) Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

=) When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

=) It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

=) Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.