* A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
* What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
* Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
* A backward poet writes in verse.
* In democracy it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism it's your count that votes.
* She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
* A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
* If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and
I'll show you A flat miner.
* When your clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
* The man who fell into an upholstery machine is
now fully recovered.
* A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum Blown Apart.
* Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
* Every calendar's days are numbered.
* A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.
* When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
* Acupuncture is a jab well done.
* Marathon runners with bad footwear will
suffer the agony of defeat.
* Those who get too big for their britches will
be exposed in the end.